a girl in the city

2011: ouch

2011-12-23T07:49:00.003+01:00

my mind is swirling with thoughts, feelings, regrets, fears, contemplations. 2011 is almost over. i'm so thankful, today, that it is. this has been a super difficult year but it's also been very rich with learning, knowing myself more and discovering more of what it means to follow jesus.

last sunday murray preached about the difference between joy and happiness. i always like to say that joy is a choice and happiness is a feeling. sometimes i get too caught up in the feelings of life.

joy is based on god, it's in our hearts, it's from god, it's deeper than emotion and the root of joy is jesus.

happiness is based on circumstances, it's in our minds, it comes from man and it's as shallow as emotion.

james 1 says it's the testing of our faith that produces steadfastness. if you lack wisdom, ask god and he will give generously to you. i've been praying this year that god would grow my faith and specifically that he would produce patience in me.

yesterday oswald chambers wrote that as we pray for patience, god allows suffering in our lives so that we will indeed have that chance to grow. this super difficult year has been a gift from god. a gift.

that changes everything. it's based on god, it's in my heart, it's from god and it's deeper than human emotion. what does that sound like?

JOY

i've become more patient, more trusting in my lord, more steadfast in my faith and i have been blessed this year with trials, suffering and heartbreak.

i choose joy. and thankfulness.

he loved me enough to accept me as i was in december 2010; but he also loved me enough not to leave me there. i'm a different girl in december 2011.

i pray it's for his glory.

midnight moon

2011-11-09T06:19:00.003+01:00

the moon's luminescent as i gaze to the stars
i think to myself that the sun must be bright
on the other side of the world,
to bring that great light.

is it that same bright moon
that will shine upon your face
crunching through the snow,
i know its only by his grace.

when you look up to the moon
do you know the father's love
the snow beneath your feet,
a symbol of the dove.

washed clean and ever pure
regardless of the act
the things done in our sin
that would break any human pact.

but we live by the father,
he dictates what's our kingdom.

he reigns in the stars,
if we'd only look above
we'd see the moon, his glory,
and know the father's love.

light always wins through darkness
it cuts right through to the core.
even if you try to hide
you'll love HIM more than before.

a random poem. thankful for the moon, and contemplation, on a midnight walk.

this is day 17.

i don't even know what day this is...

2011-11-01T07:29:00.003+01:00

tonight i'm thankful that i'm not good enough... which means i can stop trying.

tonight i'm thankful that jesus IS good enough.

there are only two categories of people: perfect and sinful.

trying to be in the perfect camp sucks. cause you never win. you never get there. you never achieve perfection.

admitting you're sinful. HARD. but good.

getting off the performance treadmill. HARDER.

i must become what i already am in christ.

thankfulness... slow and steady

2011-10-29T10:53:00.002+02:00

a quick, 3am thank you to jesus for the body of christ. praise him for unity, grace and the interconnectedness of the lives of his people! in our city, the christian climate can often be one of cutthroat competition (ridiculous) and carelessness towards other congregations... but we are all, together, the body of christ.

tonight on the love bus, i felt what i feel like is a small piece of the joy that awaits us in heaven where we are freed from sin and, finally, truly unified. no doctrinal disputes or conservative conundrums, no emerging this and beware of that... just free, unadulterated worship to our father. the love bus was an awesome experience tonight. people from 4 different representative bodies from the city of regina came to love on the people and worship the lord; in doing so, they loved on each other.

there are some amazing hearts for jesus in this city! i am blown away by the selflessness of those who give their late night hours on the love bus to serve others. we had some amazing conversations with people who came on the bus tonight, from suicides and abortions to kids taken away and broken marriages.

i'm often reminded that issues never come in a certain package. we've all got them. it doesn't matter if you shower once a week or once a day, you're human, flawed and in need of a savior.

i'm really thankful tonight for people who love jesus in this city and are obedient to play their part, the part god has given them to play at this particular moment in time. for his glory.

2011-10-24T06:34:00.002+02:00

so the last week i'm going to call a day (i can do that, right? i mean, it's my blog, after all!)... maybe i should make this 30 entries thankful, rather than 30 days thankful!

anyways, i'm going to call the last week a day and say that i am incredibly thankful for my relationship with jesus. he is the rock that is higher than i. he is unchanging, never failing, full of love... sacrificial, caring, genuine, real... he gave his life for me. i honestly don't know where i'd be or how i'd be able to function without him.

it's a weird thing to ponder... why do i love jesus? it seems so sunday school... "because he died on the cross for me"... but it's literally that simple. he died on the cross for me because i'm separated by my sin from god. god is full of love, yes, but he's also just. and in his justice, he cannot tolerate sin. but jesus' life, death and resurrection can pay the penalty on my behalf.

it's so much more though... it's a daily life of relationship, it's a walk, a journey. unlike our fellow man, jesus never fails us. he never stops loving, he's always perfect, he never lets us down. he's an incredible friend, brother and god. he is worthy of all of our hearts and the depths of our souls. we can trust him with everything. the more i know him, the more i love him. the more i love him, the more i trust him.

through christ, we are disciplined by the father because he loves us. uggh, discipline is hard. but it produces a harvest! it grows our character... it creates in us avenues to be like christ that would never be there apart from him.

life is hard sometimes. life is hard. but i trust jesus. i love him.

this week i'm thankful for jesus... the author and perfector of our faith. faith... a gift. unmerited, yet freely given.

faith... grace... jesus.

incredible gifts.

thank you, father!

day 13

2011-10-18T05:50:00.002+02:00

somehow i put day 9 as day 12 below... not sure what happened there.

anyways... today was a tough day to be thankful. i just wasn't feelin it!

but, as always, the lord is good and showed up in unexpected ways.

i'm especially grateful for the way the lord creates community and the fellowship that takes places over a good meal. i had a great meal tonight and it was a most unexpected invitation, but one that i'm very grateful for! i love my community and the wonderful people that continually shower me with love and god's blessing.

i even ate a whole piece of steak! and it was delish!

thanks, r & c. :)

thankful three days

2011-10-17T05:54:00.002+02:00

short and sweet synopsis...

friday - sweet, honest friends

saturday - hockey: play, watch, get involved

sunday - afternoon naps

:)

day 12

2011-10-14T06:22:00.002+02:00

grace has been pressed upon me.

grace is incredible. it's free, it's unearned, you can't earn it, actually. never can. it's unlimited. unwavering. unfathomable.

i struggle to believe everyday that i am truly saved by grace and that i do not have to earn my standing before god. how many days do i feign to remember that, oh yes, chelsa, you are, indeed, saved! you are redeemed! you are loved unconditionally! all this "stuff" you're caught up in... simply details in light of grace and jesus!

i'm really thankful not only that jesus gives me his grace in unlimited amounts, but that he calls his community to live within the bounds of this grace. you see, i'm super messed up. i don't know about you, but i am. well, i do know about you. you're just as messed as i am... perhaps you haven't realized it yet! haha. who am i kidding. you know. we all do. but do you know you need a savior?

it's so easy for me to see my sin, failings, the ways that i hurt people, fail to uphold the gospel calling, etc, etc, etc. but then i have to remember... that these things are WORKS, not grace, and that i am no longer held under the law but under grace.

praise JESUS!

jesus calls his community to live under grace and extend this grace to one another... not one time, or even 7 times, but 70 times 7... an amount we could never count! i'm thankful for family that extends me grace, for sisters and brothers in christ who love me like a sister and accept me as i am, for boyfriends (oh wait, make that boyfriend) that allow forgiveness and healing in a relationship... all as a reflection of the cross and the grace that we live under.

jesus... you blow my mind.

i guess in being thankful for grace today, i'm thankful for the cross, the resurrection, and the mystery of the lord that leaves many things unexplainable.

would they really be that great if simple me could figure them out?

day 8

2011-10-13T04:53:00.003+02:00

today i'm thankful for positive, supportive and inspirational role models in my life.

this might sound strange, but one of mine is a 64 year old professor who also happens to be the advising faculty for my internship. he is just a downright wonderful person. i've been having a pretty rough september/october, and today he met me at the high school just to chat and see how he might be able to help.

he's great for many reasons. he's extremely smart and very sharp. despite the head knowledge, he cares about people. and you know it. you're not just a number to him, you're a person with a life and a heart and he cares about how you're doing. he's dedicated his life to helping students, helping teachers and trying to make education better. he taught me to pay yourself first... something i will take with me for the rest of my life as a key personal finance principle! among many other things. :) he doesn't judge. someone else might have condemned me or judged me today. or just not cared.

our brief, 45 minute chat, was a huge encouragement to me today.

thanks, cyril. i'm thankful for you.

one week thankful

2011-10-12T07:34:00.003+02:00

wow. tonight i'm super thankful. tonight it's easier to be thankful in terms of the feeling, rather than the choice. doesn't that always seem to be the case when circumstances are tougher... being thankful is tougher, too?

i'm extremely grateful that the lord love us like he does. and in that great and perfect love, love that is so great that it seeks out the best and the good in everything, there is discipline.

And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

"My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives."

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?

Hebrews 12:5-7

~

Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:9-11

the lord knows what he's doing. and he disciplines us because he loves us. we all know how annoying and obnoxious the spoiled kid is whose parents never discipline him. god has better for all of us and demonstrates his love for us in his discipline. he desires that we would be different, that we would be shaped by his hand and not by our own fleshly desires.

discipline sucks, honestly, in the moment. it's hard. it's painful. but it's good.

i'm thankful the lord loves me enough to bless me with his discipline.

Days 5 + 6

2011-10-11T03:47:00.003+02:00

i posted this yesterday on my fb, but i'll repost it here. because, yes, sometimes i'm a legalist and i have to follow the rules (the calendar doesn't skip day 5 so how could i?!). ridiculous, i know.

happy thanksgiving! the greatest thing i'm thankful for is jesus. he puts thankfulness into a whole new context.

that was it... short and sweet.

i've been thinking a lot today about what i'm thankful for. i could prattle off a few different options, but i'll save those for another day and list. not that i'll run out of things to be thankful for by any means.

i went for a long run today (with a fabulous friend... who i'm VERY thankful for, btw) and i was struck by the beauty of the park as we ran. the leaves were hues of orange, red, gold and green. there were so many times when both of us exclaimed "that's a perfect picture right there!" as we saw a man on a park bench looking out at the water, his bike parked behind him. or the way the trees folded perfectly over the path in a leafy cascade of colours over our heads.

my eyes were overwhelmed with the beauty i saw around me. but as i took a deep breath and inhaled the aroma of fall, with the fresh, yet decaying scent of life and death, mixing into a surprisingly delicious assault on the senses, i became less aware of what i could see and more aware of how i felt.

there is something incredible about fresh breath in your nostrils, the invigorating taste of outside air in your lungs. as i breathed, a sense of calm, freedom and excitement coursed through my veins. it made me feel free from the burdens on my heart, in my mind and the incessant ticking of the clock in my brain.

i'm so thankful for the outdoors, for fresh, clean air and the beauty that surrounds us. i'm thankful, too, that the lord doesn't limit his interaction with us to the way we often see it: stuffy pews in a church, solitary prayer, institutions. no, he's way bigger than that. he's in the air we breathe and the beauty around us. he made it, he loves it; just like he loves us.

simple exercise, a run in the park on a path, in nature, and beauty and the brilliance of our maker. he met me there and i laid my burdens at his feet as we ran together.

today i got to experience him.

that's what i'm thankful for.

thankful day 4...

2011-10-09T08:00:00.003+02:00

i have the most amazing parents. they are extremely generous, loving and thoughtful towards me.

the amazing thing about parents, is it doesn't matter how you treat them, what you've done or where you've been (or go), they are faithful and loving. i realize this isn't the case for everyone, which only makes me increasingly thankful that the ones that i have are, and are such a representation of the unconditional love that we are given by the Father.

whether things in my life are going smoothly or terribly, mom and dad are faithful to stick by me and be increasingly supportive.

today i'm so grateful for my parents. they are gems and i love them. one day i hope to be the kind of parent to my kids that they've been to me!

thankful day 3

2011-10-08T07:26:00.002+02:00

today i'm thankful for the rain.

it was just what my heart needed.

i'll leave it at that.

thankful day 2

2011-10-06T22:00:00.003+02:00

today's thankful piece is easy. i'm at school (the high school, that is) all day... as i have been the past month... everyday. i'm learning what it means to be a teacher and discovering that the disjointed experience of university is nothing like high school. somehow i forgot that. maybe it was the 8 years between now and then or maybe it's just my selective memory.

but today i was really hit with what a community exists within the walls of this building. there are so many things going on... ideas, knowledge, relationship, friendships and family. we celebrated the birthday of our elder, who works with the teen moms at the shirley schneider centre, and it was awesome to see all these babies/infants and their mothers celebrate 70 years for norma jean. what a neat picture of a family!

i also had a wonderful period with my grade 9s. we did an activity for the hour that the students really go into. what a satisfying feeling!

so today, i am thankful for schools and teachers and students and everything that happens within the walls of this building. there are a lot of wonderful people that really care about others. and that is what i want to spend my life doing!

30 days thankful

2011-10-06T06:36:00.002+02:00

i'm going to make it my goal over the next 30 days to select one thing that i'm thankful for each day and post it here.

because in general, i have not had an overly thankful heart, and especially as of late in my life. and i have much to be grateful for!

tonight i am extremely thankful for community. i have enjoyed living in sweet, rich and honest community in the two years since i've moved home from europe. in times of need especially, i have seen this community rise up and love, pray and accept me and those around me. all for jesus and centred on the cross.

in our competitive and self-centred world, real community is refreshing.

it's a huge blessing to me and i'm extremely thankful for it!

Psalm 89:8

2011-05-10T15:22:00.001+02:00

you are entirely faithful...

even when i am not. even when i fail, when i'm idolatrous, when i give up on you. you are still faithful. where i run out, you continue. where i cannot keep going, you pick me up and carry me. when i stop believing, you remain unchanged. i'm desperate to be faithful, father. i want to be. i'm so weak and weary. o easily beat down and discouraged. help me, jesus. i can't but you can. what does it mean, what does it look like, to find joy in you? to truly trust you and live in that trust which leads to freedom and joy...

all day long rejoicing in your reputation
exulting in your righteousness
it pleases you to make me strong
protection comes from the holy one, our lord.

Easter Musings

2011-04-27T03:04:00.003+02:00

after over a 2 month hiatus, i would like to return with something i wrote on easter friday, good friday, that is... also known as the day we killed god. thankfully, god defeat death on easter sunday and therefore we also have life!
~~~
Today is a reminder of what you did for us, Jesus. We remember how you endured pain, humiliation, scorn and abuse, all for us - for grace - and to honor your father and complete his will. This day in history changed my life forever. God, you called me to yourself and the only reason I could come was because of the irresistible grace of Christ and his cross. I think back on that day and my waking mind cannot conjure up an appropriate measure of the atrocities of that day. I see you there, upon the cross, bloodied and bruised, mangled flesh and tanged hair, and somehow you see me. You look down and connect your yes to mine. Through your pain your voice is strong. You say, "I love you, I'm doing this for you." My mind cannot comprehend the weight of these words and I fall to my knees at your cross. In my brokenness I feel freedom. In humility, I will live in this position. I will live in joy. Knees on the ground, heart inclined to you, knowledge that you are the only one that can do it - that you can bear my sin and make me right with God. Jesus, you paid everything, and yet I owe you nothing.

This, indeed, is grace.

And this is love.

the beat goes on

2011-02-09T06:58:00.002+01:00

i thought i'd make a posting of the comments jadon left and my response to them... which i think he's going to add to later... but i think which shed some more light on the situation of which i was just writing about... the male/female dynamic. these are good discussions to have, if not somewhat awkward and uncomfortable. but that's life! better to have those convos that make us think, make us pursue the lord on things we might not have before, and humble us in knowing we don't have it all figured out. and i appreciate jadon for being a brother and challenging me on what i'm saying as well! :)

i'd also like to put this DISCLAIMER out there for all my single guy friends - this is blog was written to NO ONE in particular! so boys, please don't wonder if i'm secretly hinting at you and hoping you'll somehow stumble upon my blog and read this, i'm just doing what us in the blog-o-sphere do -> share opinion. so you can take what i'm saying, or send it right back. but please know though, that there is NOTHING personal in any of this!!

Below is a section written by JADON:

Hmm, I see where you are coming from, and there is for sure some validity to this. And this is probably going to come out completely wrong, but I think I have some thoughts to share!
This may be a bit hard for me to verbalize through typing here, instead of talking in person, but, I think this is taken a bit too much to the extreme here. There is some counter stuff that needs to be said.
I think the word, and I have said this about so many topics, is balance. There has to be a balance and I think where you are coming from is a reaction to the other side of the pendulum, and going completely the opposite way does not make things any better.
I think we have hyped up Christian relationships a bit too much, and put way too much pressure on both the guy and the gal.
I have never had a girlfriend and am really hesitant to even ask a Christian woman out for coffee, because I am worried that I will lead her on. I don't think this is right! Back in the day it was okay for men to ask different girls to go for coffee or a shake, just to get to know them and figure out if they were compatible at all, no pressure. Now we can't do that in the Christian culture without it being blown out of proportion and the girl either thinking she is being led on or else running away because she thinks that the guy wants to marry her and she isn't interested!
I know that I can start to like a woman through seeing her in group get together's and stuff, but one can only go so deep in that. Sometimes that won't work at all, for instance they might run in different circles and not interact at all unless they intentionally go for coffee to chat a bit and get to know each other. Even if they do run in the same circles, one can often only get to know someone so deep in those big groups, sometimes not even getting to go past a wave across the room for weeks at a time, unless you are somewhat intentional!
I know that men need to be men, but I don't think it is fair that this pressure is put on a man that he can only be intentional with a woman if he is interested in courting her! That puts too much pressure on the relationship. I think it is important for a man to have the freedom to be intentional about getting to know a woman to determine if they are suitable for each other. Or can't a man "just be friends" with a woman EVER? Is that not allowed?
I have enough trouble initiating relationships with women due to fear that I will scare them away, let alone having to worry that initiating friendship means that I need to be courting her for marriage! That is a ton of pressure!
And I do not think that the initiating should be completely in the guys court. I think that the guy needs to initiate the relationship going from just friends to a courtship, but the woman does need to take some initiative here. I have seen women take this "non-initiative" to the extreme with me in the past. I had a girl that liked me, but I had no idea whatsoever that she was interested in me because she barely said a word to me, essentially she ignored me. I thought that she had no use for me, and would have never thought about pursuing her even as friends. We ended up at a table together and the conversation went to this topic and we debated about who is supposed to take initiative, and that is when I figured out that she didn't hate me, but in fact was just trying not to initiate anything, because she had been told that the guy was to take all of the initiative! It is more than okay for a girl to initiate friendship, how else is a guy supposed to know that you are interested in being in the same room with him, let alone potentially courting or marriage!
Lots more I could say, but I really do think that it is all about balance! Maybe we should chat about this over skype sometime... oh shoot, is that taking too much initiative and leading you on? :-)
Relationships are difficult!

08 February, 2011 07:49

and ME (chelsa):

hey jadon... i agree that it's about balance. and there's a ton of pressure from our culture, from that strange thing called christian sub-culture, from families, notions of what biblical dating looks like, etc. it's a jumbled up mess.

i think the purpose of my "rant", shall we call it that, was just to make both guys and girls think. i'm not saying guys and girls can't be friends, definitely not. but there is a certain danger to them spending a lot of time alone. i don't think it's healthy or profitable. why is it necessary?

we often talk about girls being sensitive to guys... not causing them to stumble with how you dress, carry yourself, flirt, etc. because they're such visual creatures. so, being a sister, i wouldn't want to do those things and cause someone to stumble in their faith.

but do guys know that their actions often cause girls to stumble? is it "not legit" because it seems extreme? is it infringing on the rights of people to just be friends? paul talks about us giving up our rights to not cause others to stumble. girls' hearts are SO easily mislead, just like guys are easily influenced by the visual. i'm not saying there isn't anything either or guys or girls can do on their own to help safeguard their hearts against that, but i know my actions can cause someone to stumble, why, out of christianly love, wouldn't i do my best NOT to do that very action?

let me pose you this questions. if you are taking a girl to coffee to see if you are compatible, why not call it a date? why not tell her you want to take her out and get to know her (are your intentions not to see if something could be there?). what if you weren't interested? is that okay? YES. of course. but this is the part we don't like - someone has to SAY that to the other person. OUCH. isn't that mean? doesn't that hurt their feelings? well, maybe. but isn't it better to speak the truth in love and grace than to allow the other person to stumble because it makes you uncomfortable to have to say something? if you and the girl are meant to be friends, your friendship will survive the discomfort of establishing that there's nothing going on between you. if you hate having to have that conversation, but it's going to help out a sister, why are you holding back? i don't think the answer is never spending time with the opposite sex, but rather communicating about what's going on. if you just want to be friends, why not just say that? "hey, i'd love to get caught up, can we go for coffee? and just so you know, i'm pursuing your friendship." maybe that sound weird, but it would save a lot of girls' hearts.

when my bro in law decided he wanted to see how compatible he and my sis might be, they had hung out in groups for a while, he had begun texting her a bit, but soon after he called and asked her to hang out. and he said, just so you know, it's a date. so she knew going in what his intentions were. after their first date, which obviously went well, he asked her out again and again and she said yes again and again. fair enough. now they're married.

i think where two people have been friends for awhile, and they go for coffee every once in a while to get caught up, that might be different. but it's situational and depends on the people, kind of like you said before - balance.

what i'm talking about is communicating intentions. being careful with a girl's heart as you spend time with her. taking the risk of putting it out there if your intentions are to go on a date with her, and then communicating to her that you're interested, or not, and then being friends or going your separate ways after that.

a girl will hold on for months, years, if the guy keeps giving her even the slightest indication that he's interested, even if his intentions are never to go beyond. even though that sounds completely ridiculous. it is ridiculous. it's flawed and sinful, and girls need to guard against letting themselves go there. but what about guys? if they knew that's what their actions said to girls might they become more aware of how they affect girls and therefore guard their hearts by being more forthright with them? guys' typically hate the DTR. girls need it. we're too fallible and apt to go in the direction of misconstruing what guys intentions really are.

and i do believe girls need to respond to initiative and give the guy a response. it shouldn't be one-way. no guy is going to keep pursuing a girl if she never gives him any indication that she's reciprocating his feeling.

so if my entry sounded a little extreme, it's cause it's that big of a deal and it's that important. and there's not much talk about it. so if there's some discussion stirring up, i'm glad. and i'd love to skype sometime, jadon. i'm pretty sure i know where we stand in our friendship. ;) we can definitely talk about this more.

chels

to the boys, the brothers, the males and the men

2011-02-02T22:48:00.004+01:00

...those otherwise known as the XY beings...

a note from a sister... which will hopefully be a little insight into the minds of those strange beings we call females. maybe a little more insight into why "men are from mars and women are from venus" and all the stuff in between.

on initiating.

warning: when you initiate with a girl, when you give her attention, when you text her frequently and often, invite her to hang out, spend time with her one on one, take her along to family outings, and things of this such nature, what you're telling her is

I'M INTERESTED.

it doesn't matter if you're not. she doesn't know that. see, females are flawed. we want attention, affection, to be desired. we want a guy to fulfill us... even when we know it's idolatry, it's a battle to fight against that. and lots of us don't even try. and some do. but even then, the EVE in each one of us is calling out for love.

are you helping her, protecting her heart, thinking of her when you're treating her in the aforementioned way?

"what's that? you didn't know?? you had no idea that's how girls are??"

well, i don't blame you. in the same way that girls, as a result of the fall, have the desire to manipulate, control and rule over man and are called to fight that desire to do so. (if you're wondering where i get this... see genesis, ephesians, timothy...and examine the covenant relationship between god and man, christ and man, christ and the church... it's enlightening).

so you are called to do what women are to not: to initiate. women are called NOT to pursue a man, but to wait. to be submissive to the lord and wait on him. if only someone had of told EVE that in the garden. maybe she wouldn't have initiated eating the apple.

or maybe, adam would have stood up to her and taken responsibility for what god had given him: EVE. HEADSHIP. INITIATIVE. maybe, when god called adam to account for eve's behaviour in the garden, adam wouldn't have shrunk back from his responsibility and blamed it on eve. he didn't take the risk.

see brothers, a girl is not like a t-shirt you can try on for a while and see if you like the fit, the colour, the texture of the fabric. that's the easy way. that's the sinful way. a girl is the "weaker sex", which is translated as porcelain. if you try her on, test her out, without taking the risk of making her yours (purchasing the t-shirt, for sake of analogy... this is a fallible analogy, please let me point out). in not taking that risk, you're damaging her heart. you're leading her astray and honestly, causing her to stumble.

if you like a girl, if you want to pursue her, then do it. but if you're not sure if you're interested, not sure if you really want to be dating someone, not sure, not sure, not sure... STAY AWAY from anything that seems like initiating. please, think about your sisters out there! it's heartbreaking to hear single girl after single girl tell me stories of guys who led them on for months, years... goodness knows how long.

and ladies... if a guy likes you, he'll ask you out. and if you're wondering, wondering, wondering... he's not the kind of guy you want to be with, so confess to a friend, pray about it... and leave him behind. cause if he likes you, he'll ask you out. and then you'll know, at least initially, that he's the kind of guy worth letting pursue you.

running, running, running

2011-01-30T06:51:00.002+01:00

i've been running a lot lately. literally, figuratively. for a few different reasons. literally i'm training for the longest run i have yet to face - the marathon. but figuratively, i've been running. running to ambition. to goals. to many good things. but one thing i'm not sure if i've been doing or not is running to the right thing. it's been a few years of a mindset that's beginning to change.

let me make this a little clearer through some examples:

-when i returned home from europe, i signed up for a 2 year cel phone contract. now, i know you're wondering why on earth that even matters. well, it matters in the details. most contracts are naturally 3 years long. well, i had two years of school to go, so i got a contract for only two years. that way, 2 years later, i could move back to... or move to... for the first time to... or... or...

-november 2010 i filled out an application form to do my internship semester in england. 16 weeks in truro, cornwall, on the seashore sounded like just the kind of adventure up my alley in the blue seas and green pastures overseas...

-last week, during an education career fair on campus, a by-passed every single local school district booth and went straight to the international booths. without even blinking. i signed up for information from two different agencies about teaching overseas...

there are many other examples. the main thread running through each is this: PEACE OUT ASAP. grass is greener elsewhere, life is more exciting in a foreign country. escape regina.

now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing to escape in particular here in regina. i'm not lonely and bored. i'm not alone. i don't have a messy break-up to flee. in fact, it's just the opposite.

-i have amazing community. i love my church. i lead a group of amazing, humble, FUN, women who love jesus.
-i'm learning a ton at school, enjoying my university program and actually looking forward to some sort of tangible, real career outside of university (a huge step for me!)
-i get to live with my lovely, loving and generous parents who spoil me with their kindness and are wonderful friends
-i have a support system of people here, so many people, that i love SO much. they are incredible. i learn from them everyday.
-i live in a city steeped in need. there is SO much to do here to bring love and light to people. to share the gospel.
-my sister and bro-in-law, two of the most wonderful people i know, who love jesus in an incredible way, are en route to moving here
-i have a way cute SOUL that i love to zip around town in
-my cat, at 8 years old, is still ticking
-i live in a city that's a fishbowl. the longer i'm here, the more i realize that everyone i know, knows someone i know. potentially a curse, but it's a huge blessing.
-there are two major ministries that have entered my life i just the past week alone, that call my name with volume and clarity.
-i have dreams for this city, to see it unified in christ.
-i want to labour here, to connect people, to see revival and change in the name of jesus.

and yet i run. i run in the form of seeing myself elsewhere. of daydreaming of life far away. of desiring to be on the other side of the world having adventures and sharing the gospel with people there. but the greatest mission field i could be called to is, as my blog line says, "right out my front door". i think i'm finally getting there - or here - or whatever you might say. not just resigning myself to the idea, but moving beyond that. moving to accepting, moving to enjoying, moving to finding peace with, the fact that i'm called to regina. i'm called to be here. my life is here, my calling is here. and for now, i'm not going to keep running away, but i'm going to run to the places in the city that i've been called to be in. and rest in the fact that dreaming is good, but obedience... obedience is greater. obedience to the one who KNOWS all, SEES all, and cares infinitely about my soul and the souls of us here on earth. now that's a good thing.

so i'm still running. literally, i've got a few hundred miles to go. and figuratively... i know there'll be moments. but i'm starting to get it. it's not about my goals and dreams and short-sighted vision for the future. it's about christ. so i'm training, i'm working, and i'm running to christ instead.

it's gonna be painful

2011-01-28T07:11:00.003+01:00

last night at league (ladies bible study at the compass, fyi... it's a long story. ask me sometime. well, it's not that long, but it's long'ish'... i digress). back to league... we were talking about discipline. and punishment. how they're different, how they're the same... what it looks like to be disciplined by god. some big ideas came forth that i wanted to highlight.

-we misunderstand discipline, often because we have been disciplined and punished by falliable people in our lives
-discipine is GOOD
-the definition of discipline starts with the word training
-we are not being punished by god for our sin when we are being disciplined; jesus took the punishment for our sin already
-rather, we are being sanctified; we are being made more and more like christ and less and less like our sinful flesh-selves
-our discipline from the father is glorifying to jesus. we become more like him. this is a good thing.
-discipline is NOT easy
-god has enough grace and mercy, enough unconditional love, to allow us to be disciplined for our good
-true happiness is not in ease, comfort, etc; it's in knowing christ deeper and deeper... and deeper still
-we will never escape discipline until we die, because we will never be restored to our pre-sin state until this earthly life is over
-we can step into discipline willingly, in fact, we can pursue it through confession of sin to god and a sister/brother, repentance, accountability... who did you confess sin to this week?

despite the heaviness of the topic and the intensity of the conversation, it was a wonderful night of sharing, discussion, weeping, praying, and locking arms with sisters. if you're not in community, why aren't you? you're missing out. the body of christ was made as the bible tells us for a reason. it's beautiful in it's brokenness and christ is faithful to redeem it, despite our sinful hearts.

if you know christ, you can know you are being disciplined. that's a good thing.

interesting fable from the education world

2011-01-25T21:47:00.001+01:00

The Animal School

Once upon a time, the animals decided they must do something heroic to meet the problems of a “new world”. So they organized a school.
They adopted an activity curriculum consisting of running, climbing, swimming and flying. To make it easier to administer the curriculum, all the animals took all the subjects.
The duck was excellent in swimming, in fact better than his instructor, but he made only passing grades in flying and was very poor in running. Since he was slow in running, he had to stay after school and also drop swimming in order to practice running. This was kept up until his webbed feet were badly worn and he was only average in swimming, so nobody worried about that except the duck.
The rabbit started at the top of the class in running, but had a nervous breakdown because of so much make-up work in swimming.
The squirrel was excellent in climbing until he developed frustration in the flying class where his teacher made him start from the ground up instead of from the treetop down. He also developed a “charlie horse” from overexertion and then got a C in climbing and a D in running.
The eagle was a problem child and was disciplined severely. In the climbing class he beat all the others to the top of the tree, but insisted on using his own way to get there.
At the end of the year, an abnormal eel that could swim exceedingly well, and also run, climb and fly a little, had the highest average and was valedictorian.
The prairie dogs stayed out of school and fought the tax levy because the administration would not add digging and burrowing to the curriculum. They apprenticed their children to a badger and later joined the groundhogs and gophers to start a successful private school.
Does this fable have a moral?

George H. Reavis

lec"raeing" out the gospel

2011-01-19T05:43:00.006+01:00

get it? the play on words? oh, that's right. probably only i do. annnyways...

okay. these. lyrics. are. so. unreal.
and they're even better when you hear them to music.
if you wanna know just how good they sound, just press play on the little box below.
100% guarantee you will not be disappointed.
maybe just convicted.
yet encouraged.
simultaneously.
by the gospel.
not the guy.
enjoy...

excerpt of my fav lines:

I know I'm safest when I'm in Your will, and trust Your Word
I know I'm dangerous when I trust myself, my vision blurred
And I ain't got no time to play life's foolish games
Got plenty aims, but do they really Glorify Your name?
And it's a shame, the way I want to do these things for You, yeet
Don't even cling to you, take time to sit and glean from You
It seems like You were patient in my ignorance
If ignorance is bliss, it's 'cause she never heard of this

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/background_lyrics_lecrae.html
All about Lecrae: http://www.musictory.com/music/Lecrae

a video euro update

2011-01-10T01:52:00.002+01:00

i know i promised an update on the europe trip from december. well, rather than listening to be write about it incessantly (we all know how long winded i can be), here is a video, made by my partner in crime, Krista Prins, which will give you a great glimpse into the trip overall!

http://kristaprins.blogspot.com/2011/01/grab-cup-of-coffee.html

like she said... grab a coffee. it's not a 60 second blurb. ;)

an interesting read

2011-01-10T01:29:00.002+01:00

if you have a few minutes, read this blog. [http://shepherdswalk.blogspot.com/2007/12/acts-29-network-casualty-of-perfect.html]

disclaimer: your heart rate quite likely will be elevated as you read the facts laid out - not to mention peoples' comments at the bottom. the author does a good job of presenting said facts, combined with some of his opinion. but it's really quite sad the issues the church is often caught up in. all this time, wasting time, on legalistic issues.

euro update

2010-12-12T22:50:00.002+01:00

we arrived safely to prague this morning, after a 7 hour journey from martin, slovakia. we had a wonderful week with the slovak girls. my tired mind can't do it justice at this point so i will leave it at that.

i just wanted to stop by and say thanks to all of you for praying. we feel so supported over here, despite the hiccups we've had along the way (mostly with travel stuff... another blog post with be forthcoming).

tomorrow we head to billy and adrianne crossan's - long term missionaries in prague with athletes in action. we'll be teaching english class at the sport university tomorrow night and tuesday afternoon.

i got to see a good friend at church tonight, which was wonderful! we chatted over dinner and got caught up. it only took us about 3 hours! :)

this city is so wonderful. i never get tired of the sights and sounds (only the smells... ewwww), but i can put up with that if it means i'm here!

will check in again... maybe from the canadian side of things. but wanted to say 'hi'.

CH

gong show

2010-12-05T18:27:00.003+01:00

well, we're still in frankfurt. krista found me at about 1pm this afternoon. somewhere along the way, as we waited at our gate, said departure gate changed. and we went to the counter to check in. and realized the gate said munich while our ticket said krakow.

slight problem. we're trying not to stress, but it looks like this is what's happening:

frankfurt->katowice, poland
@ 10pm / arrival in katowice -> 11:30
shuttle from katowice -> krakow
1.5 hours
arrival in krakow -> 1:30am

gonna be a long night. for now, we're trusting god and trying to laugh as much as possible. given that we're both starved for sleep, it hasn't been too difficult.

please pray against discouragement and for good rest, despite cold, hard airport floors.

chels

requesting prayer (i couldn't keep it simple)

2010-12-05T08:27:00.003+01:00

hi friends.

well, i'm sitting in the frankfurt airport with approximately 8 hours to burn before my connecting flight to krakow, poland. i caved and bought an internet pass. i figure that between this trip and the return home, i might have need for it. and now that my brain has slowed down a little - err, rather - caught up from the brain drain of school, i'll take some time to pass on some prayer requests to you guys.

[*warning: what proceeds from here turns into a sizable tangent. if you're pressed for time or just don't want to listen to overtired rambling, skip down to the bottom of this posting for specific prayer requests.]

i was feeling kind of overwhelmed as i sat on the flight to frankfurt. but i didn't know it. despite months of anticipation and planning, i wondered what exactly i was doing. i hadn't even caught my breath and here i was on yet another transatlantic flight.

since august 2006, i've made 14 of these long journeys across this ocean. today is my 15th. that's probably more times across that vast body of water than most people will experience in a lifetime. it doesn't really seem like a big deal though. in fact, i like it. i like travelling for 8+ hours on a plane because it forces me to do nothing. nothing but read, write, pray and think. i like to think. i do it a lot. maybe sometimes i do it too much. i'm not sure if that's the plight of a female in general or my disposition in particular. regardless, here i am. in an airport. time to kill. thinking.

i think god has used these transatlantic flights to wake me up. in many cases, dead "airport-land" time has turned to growth time. the same such thing happened on this flight today. back to sitting there in a daze... "what am i doing?"

wait, one more tangent.

yesterday over dinner with my parents, we marvelled at yet another journey far away.

"my life is so random," i remarked to my mom. the sentiment is based on the fact that my life consists of many different seemingly disjoined parts that come together under the single common denominator of the fact of them all belonging to me.

she refuted my statement outright. "your life is extremely purposeful, chelsa, because it's all part of god's plan for you. so don't think it's random."

ahh, my wise mother. so true.

so what am i doing here?

a small but delightful care package from sharon et al gave me a blast of sober-minded thought as i awakened to remembrance of my purpose in life and this trip in particular. i sat on the plane and read the cue card with this quote on it:

"But God is the God of the waves and the billows, and they are still His when they come over us; and again and again, we have proved that the overwhelming thing does not overwhelm. Once more, by His interposition, deliverance came. We were cast down, but not destroyed."

(the words of amy carmichael, who spent 55 years as a missionary in india)

YES. the overwhelming does not overwhelm. i was awash with a wave of emotion as i took in the words and savored their meaning. i pulled up my hood and shed a few tears as i sat there and marveled. then i pulled out my bible and turned to romans, where the gift of faith is given for those who are called into the saving knowledge of christ.

this is my prayer for the girls this week, that they would respond to that call of christ on their lives, and that we would proclaim it boldly, with love and truth. i don't have to say the right words or try and muster up some attractive sounding reason why the girls should give their lives to christ. i just go, in obedience, and share what god is doing in my life. i love the story of nehemiah. he did outrageous things, not because he was particularly cool or good-looking or talented, but because god was working in his life. and he shared about it. and god was before him and moved in the hearts of men.

*prayer requests:

martina - our leader from the Slovak side. pray against the schemes of the enemy, pray for protection of her mind and heart, for words of wisdom and boldness. she will be the greatest influence in these girls lives as we strengthen her ministry this week, and she remains with them after we go.

unity - for krista and i as we lead together on and off the ice. for like-mindedness. for protection against lies and for boldness to preach the gospel. for our own spiritual health and good time with jesus so that our cups are overflowing with the goodness of him (not our own efforts which are folly).

safety - as we travel between krakow, PO; presov and martin, SLO; and prague, CZ.

ftvs - the sport university in prague - that i would see students from when i was on STINT, good turn out for class, be an encouragement to the AIA ministry there.

blessing - pray for blessing on all those who have contributed to this ministry financially and otherwise. they're here, too!

much love.

chelsa

parting thoughts

2010-12-04T06:35:00.003+01:00

it's almost midnight and i'm in the throes of packing. let me re-phrase that: i haven't started. but i'll be ready come go-time tomorrow!

just a quick note to say that i'll be posting any pics i can, and giving updates on what's happening in euro, hopefully via this url as well as facebook. i might use one to re-direct to the other.

looking so much forward to this journey. it's going to be such a blessing. i don't think i've processed it yet.

thanks for the support, the prayers, the love. you guys are all in this with me and i'm so blessed!

here are the faces of some of the girls i'll be seeing this week. pray for... Jana, Slavka, Martina, Mirka, Tesco and Katka.

lastly, (though firstly) it's about Jesus. pray he would be IT, he would be ALL and everything would be about HIM as we go.

much love.

thou hast made summer and winter

2010-12-01T16:26:00.003+01:00

it's hard to believe it's december 1st already. it seems like i just said that. last year. but here we are. a whole year later. today's a big day. christmas fever, er rather, fervour, is about to set in even moreso than it already has. light 92 starts playing non-stop christmas music. stores begin to stay open for more time than anyone should spend under fluorescent lights. santa's been perched on his throne at the mall for at least a week alrady. and if you were hoping to send packages overseas to loved ones far away before the 25th, you're already too late. ahhh. the season has begun.

sometimes the winter months can feel long. and dark. and cold. not just to the body, but to the mind and the soul. i'm not the only one feeling this way these days, as my girlfriends can attest that we're all feeling a bit bleak.

this morning i opened spurgeon's daily devotional and turned to december 1st. the content couldn't be more fitting for this wintry day, and as i finished reading i decided it was worth passing on to whomever might peruse on by in the blog-o-sphere.

perhaps it will encourage you, as it did me.

~
My soul, begin this wintry month with thy God. The cold snows and the piercing winds all remind thee that He keeps His covenant with day and night and tend to assure thee that He will also keep that glorious covenant that He has made with thee in the person of Christ Jesus. He who is true to His Word in the revolutions of the seas of this poor sin-polluted world will not prove unfaithful in His dealings with His own well-beloved Son.

Winter in the would is by no means a comfortable season; and if it be upon thee just now, it will be very painful to thee; but there is this comfort, namely, that the Lord makes it. He sends the sharp blasts of adversity to nip the buds of expectation; He scattereth the hoarfrost like ashes over the once verdant meadows of our joy; He casteth forth His ice ilke morsels freezing the streams of our delight. He does it all; He is the great Winter King and rules in the realms of frost; and therefore thou canst not murmur. Loses, crosses, heaviness, sickness, poverty, and a thousand other ills are of the Lord's sending and come to us with wise design. Forsts kill noxious insects and put a bound to raging diseases; they break up the clods and sweeten the soul. O that such good results would always follow our winters of affliction!

How we prize the fire just now! How pleasant is its cheerful glow! Let us in the same manner prize our Lord, who is the constant source of warmth and comfort in every time of trouble. Let us draw nigh to Him and in Him find joy and peace in believing. Let us wrap ourselves in the warm garments of His promises and go forth to labors that befit the season, for it were ill to be as the sluggard who will not plow by reason of the cold; for he shall beg in summer and have nothing.
~

2010-11-29T18:35:00.002+01:00

on saturday i take off for another overseas adventure. 10:15 i leave yqr for calgary, then frankfurt and on to krakow, poland. from krakow we bus to presov, slovakia, to join sarisanka presov for a week of hockey training on and off the ice, chatting, coffees, walking down century old streets, reliving memories from the past and, most importantly, talking about jesus and sharing the gospel.

why is it that doing just that in my regular life seems more difficult? i get into the swing of things with life and my perspective narrows. i see my life, my school, my work, my this, my that, my... ewww. that's a whole lot of ME. lately, as i've been living in tight, real, honest community, i've been thinking about jesus a lot more. or thinking about the fact that i want to be thinking about jesus a lot more. because living in community reminds me that i'm not living for self. rather, that i don't want to be living for self. when i don't hear the gospel, spend time reading and praying, confess sin to my sisters and live life honestly before others, it becomes about me. but i wanna fight that! fight it with love for jesus. it's not about taking my eyes from one thing and keeping them off it; it's about eyes off of self and on to jesus.

is that hard for you? if you said it's not, you're lying. of course it's hard. and how do we do it? the ingredients are so simple... but once you add the flesh in there, everything becomes complicated. but not too complicated for jesus when we stick to repenting, returning and letting him restore us to relationship with him and with community. i feel like i'm a repenting machine. when will this end, lord?? but it won't. that's the hard part. it just won't. and it's not about the eradication of sin. it's about gutting out life here on earth with the time we've been given. and gutting it out with jesus. because this isn't all we're living for. there's so much more.

i want to broaden my perspective every day. i want to return to jesus and let his love, his purpose, his prerogative drive my life.

so it's easier, in some ways, to go overseas and mission it out before man. it's all you have to think about during those times. it's a blessing to go, a privilege to be called in that way. but why can't we see our daily lives as the same kind of privilege with the same kind of purpose? we can... we need only be reminded!

STOP. REFOCUS.

J...E...S...U...S...

ramblings on discipline

2010-11-16T00:28:00.002+01:00

this was in a letter i wrote a friend, but i thought really expressed the challenge we were all put before us in truly loving the body of christ and what that looks like. i thought i'd share it (and the friend gave me permission to do so - actually, told me i should!). hope it challenges you. feel free to leave your thoughts...
__________
my heart is heavy about how things are with you. don't stress that i'm stressing about you... i'm not stressed, just heavy hearted for you because this is a tough situation. i'm going to be super honest with you (maybe 'blunter' than usual?? cause i'm a pretty honest person!). last night's sermon and in tonight's small group we were talking about sin in the church. and what do we do with it? and is our standard for the "world" or those who are non-believers outside the church the same as the one that's for the church. it's not. god judges those outside the church; we are to 'judge' one another (we are all saved by jesus through faith, but when it comes to our conduct we are to walk alongside one another and help each other to follow what the bible is calling us to do and live by. we observe one anothers' lives and as we share we help one another to walk in obedience). hope that makes sense. so we were discussing what we're to do if another brother or sister is clearly in sin and must be removed from the church (intense, i know)... but the thing that weighed the heaviest upon me was that it's not a matter of just kicking people out of church community because they're sinful... we're all sinful... but walking through life together and doing so openly enough to share our lives with one another so that we CAN speak truth to each other so we never get to that place of removing a believer from community (if you listen to the sermon from yesterday, this will all make more sense). and that as we see people struggle we help them with what's going on, we love on them, we point them to the bible and verses there to help them through a tough time, we pray for them. i know there have been sins in my life that if not called out, i would have stayed in and it would NOT have been for my good. believe me! i mean, at the time, i was like "whhhat?? this is what i wanna do - i'm not stopping this" but now when i look back i'm like THANK YOU jesus for people who called me out. because otherwise i would have been turned over to my selfish ways... to pursue my own selfishness and sin outside of the church. because if i don't want to be obedient to jesus on big things (that i'm not willing to change in) then why am i doing all this church stuff and why would i want to be there in the first place? ok. i'm rambling.

life is good... life is good

2010-11-10T06:32:00.017+01:00

lately i've been really thankful for my life... there is so much that makes me joyful. you never know when life is going to change... so i wanna enjoy exactly where i'm at right now. and i do have the ultimate source of joy - jesus - but in that i still have a choice. and too often i choose to be stressed, tired and restless instead of peaceful, rested and content in my savior. because joy ain't in circumstances, people! ..."to live is christ, to die is gain"... paul knew what was up. he chose joy even when he was in prison and persecuted - he had NOTHING by the world's standards. in truth, he had EVERYTHING because he had jesus. wootwoot for that!

i'm gonna jazz it up a little today... with some pics. i rarely post any, but thought a little change up might be in order. yay for great people and great experiences. life is so good!

this is in slovakia with some of my gals! i'll be hanging out with them very soon. :)

my slovak sister... martina. jesus made us friends for many reasons.

my wonderful fam. love them!

one of my best friends... miss my bro.

fuuuun gals from my former life... v praze. good times with sonj and schades!

sissy. miss her. a lot.

bestie. can't imagine life without this gal. friendships like this are testaments to god's grace!

i have a ridiculous amount of extremely high quality girlfriends in my life. seriously, it's ridiculous. and i love it. community is wonderful.

mom. :)

dad. gotta love that stash!

GIGGLE! (missing one!)

there she is!

and soon i'll be back here... in czech!

i brush my teeth...shh-shh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-shh

2010-11-09T06:39:00.004+01:00

last week, a pal of mine mentioned that he had begun not only brushing his teeth twice a day, but flossing and rinsing as well. he explained the benefits that he's been experiencing since he started this habit a year ago - including his teeth feeling less plaque-covered, whiter and his breath being better - had encouraged him to keep pursuing this habit.

i was so inspired by his honest appraisal of the benefits of flossing and brushing that i decided i would try it as well. since that day, i have been doing the same floss/brush routine that he recommended. my teeth feel freakin' great!!

as many random things tend to inspire in me, the spiritual applications of this situation begun to percolate in my brain. maybe it's not necessarily the actual act of brushing so much as the way the message was delivered. if i had been instructed that i needed to brush my teeth because, say, my breath stunk; or, because my teeth were looking like they had begun to resemble hue-de-smokers-teeth rather than white, i would have been insulted and mortified. i doubt that i would have even heeded my friend's words and i would have been offended. it would have been work to make myself brush and floss accordingly because i'd feel like i was doing it because i HAD to rather than because i WANTED to.

can you tell where i'm going with this?? obviously, my rule-ridden heart with its spin towards flesh rather than spirit rebels against the law. i can think of two applications here: when i am told what i need to do or change in myself, i'm less receptive to the message because my rebellious heart kicks in and i want to fight against that very thing i desire to do (on whatever level i desire to do it at), and secondly, how does this translate to sharing my faith? if i walk around instructing people on how they should be living their lives, rather than sharing honestly and earnestly about what god is doing in my life, i will be offending them thru my self-centred need to share what i think rather than share what god is doing in my life (and thereby giving him the credit and glory) and giving that other person the freedom to hear me rather than rise up in defense.

maybe i'm stretching it here... but every time i floss and brush, i think about freedom now. and i think about jesus.

cool.

reminiscing

2010-11-05T06:34:00.004+01:00

I came across this article on the 'net from the world juniors last christmas... it made me think about the euro tourney that was held in turkey just last weekend that arielle and i didn't go to this year. but so many great memories!! and wonderful people to meet around the world. here's the story from mr. merk, iihf correspondent.

It's a small world
December 31 / Martin Merk

The 2010 World Juniors have many unexpected connections, even to international women’s hockey.

Chelsa Heywood, a volunteer working in media relations at Regina’s Brandt Centre, was excited to talk to Czech journalists. Prague is one of her favourite cities – for good reason. In Saskatchewan, she used to play for the University of Regina Cougars, but is currently just playing recreational hockey. However, she played a professional season on the Slavia Prague women’s team in 2008-2009, along with her friend from Regina, Arielle Schade. They also competed in the IIHF’s European Women’s Champions Cup, a competition for European club teams that won their respective national leagues.

Although playing professional women’s hockey in Europe isn't the road to riches, it was a chance for both women to see a new country, experience a different culture, and play in a different hockey league.

Earlier this year, the two got the chance to go back to Prague when they emailed the Turkish Ice Hockey Association, asking if they needed reinforcements for the European Women’s Champions Cup. That wound up getting them an invitation to join the Milenyum Ankara team for the tournament in the Czech Republic, including an honorarium and airfare.

That was reason enough for both to join the club,which also featured two Americans. It was an interesting experience for Heywood and Schade, since the Turkish players, all coming from an ice-skating background, were eager to learn from their North American teammates.

Although Milenyum Ankara's best result in three games was a loss by a seven-goal margin, the Saskatchewaners enjoyed their trip, which they extended for a few days to catch up with some good old friends in Prague.

Chelsa Heywood and Arielle Schade in the Milenyum Ankara jersey during the European Women’s Champions Cup in the Czech Republic last autumn. Photo: Slavia Prague

that dang delicious apple

2010-11-04T03:13:00.004+01:00

before i studied my faith in any great detail, before i knew my worldview, before... when i tried to do this following jesus thing on my own with my own knowledge... it was like this...

there's this great big leafy apple tree, tall and strong with extensive branches that stretch out in graceful elegance. the leaves are big and green, the blossoms in the spring are beautiful, fragrant. when the apples come, they grow to be big and bold in appearance and your mouth starts watering just imagining their juicy taste, the crispness as your teeth break through the skin. YUM.

so i approach the apple tree, my eye on this delectable looking fruit hanging above me, juuust low enough that i can reach it. if i jump. many times. one time. i'll get it.

and finally that one time comes, i jump up into the air, extend my arm the furthest it's ever gone, and i pluck that apple from the tree. the way down is like slowmo... i close my eyes and shout for joy as i feel the apple enclosed within the grip of my two hands.

FINALLY! i've reached it!

my feet hit earth and my body swells with the pride of my accomplishment. so many jumps, so much effort, and now, finally, i've done it.

i unclasp my hands from around the apple. and stare into empty palms.

it's not there.

it's gone.

but i just...?

but i finally...?

but...

i look at the tree, motionless beside me, and my eyes run up the bark of the trunk, up through the leaves and back to the place where i first spotted that juicy red apple that shouted my name.

and there is it.

right where it was. right where i left it. before i jumped and got it.

all that work, all those jumps, all that time and in an instant. it was gone.

does your christian walk ever feel like that? you strive, you work, you try with all your might to please the father, to finally do the right thing, get that achievement, be all you know you can be.

and yet you're not satisfied? it's not enough?

i know that struggle. i lived it for too long. i still live it sometimes when my eyes are off of truth and my worldview has shifted back to one of self. of me. of my achievement and my effort.

your life is not about you. jesus isn't saving you because of what you've done or didn't do, will do or could do. he came and died because he loves you - he died and rose for you, living the life you couldn't live - because HE is good enough. not you. you never will be.

you don't have to strive for that apple, because your arms are already full of more apples than you could ever need or want.

the question is, do you have eyes to see them?

looking back/looking fwd

2010-08-21T06:08:00.003+02:00

a few weeks ago my pastor asked me to write a few words for our church website about what god's been doing in my life this past year. i thought i'd pass it on as a bit of a summary... the tip of the iceberg, if you would!
feel free to check out the church website to see what else is going on!
www.compassregina.com
__________

I wasn't sure what life would be like upon returning to Regina. I had been overseas working for Athletes in Action for two years after living in the Queen City my entire life. I knew I had been called back, but to what I wasn't sure.

I had started listening to podcasts while living in Prague, namely by John Piper, Mark Driscoll and Matt Chandler. January of 2009 I started to regularly take in sermons by these pastors; I encountered a new kind of Christianity I had never experienced nor heard of before. I began to pursue reading theology and studying my faith for myself. I began to press into the scriptures and God began to work major changes in my heart. I had no idea that those changes were preparing me for something else very exciting at home.

My sister started attending an Acts 29 church plant in Columbus, OH. Acts 29 is the network started by Mark Driscoll and the staff at Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA. Through that network she found out about a church plant happening in Regina. I was thrilled. At the same time I didn't know what to expect. Through the webpage, I emailed a guy I didn't know who was starting the church, and showed up at his house for bible study a few weeks later.

On September 13, 2009, we had our first official service as a church - the Compass. Since that day my learning has been substantial. Each Sunday at church I hear truth preached in a purposeful way. It has been said that soft words make for a hard heart, and hard words make for a soft heart. I can definitely attest to this. While it has been my experience in the past that churches are often afraid of, or shy away from, talking about tough subjects, at the Compass the truth is preached regardless of your comfort. It's refreshing. My life is changing because my heart is changing. I can look back a month ago and see ways that my thinking, my heart and my life have changed to more reflect what I'm seeking to pursue in having Christ as first in my life.

I am being challenged to live out of a worldview centred on the cross and not on myself. To put first things first means to put Jesus first. I am learning that community takes work and effort and that God has called us to sacrifice for church. I am learning that life includes suffering, which God calls us into and blesses us in the midst of, simply with the gift of himself. I am hearing the truth preached and it's so applicable to my everyday struggles. I am realizing that life is not my own - it's not about me - and the calling from Jesus everyday is to live missionally and not out of my circumstances. Christ is a rock; I am not. There is no good in me except that for which God gives me out of his merciful grace. I cannot take credit for my faith because it's a gift from God. There is a focus on the person and work of Jesus that is causing me to see my life in terms of his. This worldview shift is huge - all of life flows from the lens in which I look. The question is, what is creating that lens?

I am a messed up sinner with no hope apart from Christ. Maybe that sounds depressing to you, but to me it sounds like freedom. I'm not good enough - even my good deeds are filthy rags in the eyes of God (Isaiah 64:4) - but Jesus has already covered me. Shifting my focus to Jesus and away from self is helping me to overcome sin that has been entrenched in my life for decades and for generations in my family.

We heard from the word and the book of Phillipians in the fall. These words of Paul's keep ringing in my ears: "to live is Christ, to die is gain".

In the end, all we need is Jesus.

i made up a word for this post...

2010-06-03T07:31:00.006+02:00

i've been mulling on the concept of repentance and what that looks like in my life.

let me just say this first: our god is mindblowingly faithful.

i've been reading a lot of spurgeon lately as i've previously shared. reading through his works on his "experiences after conversion", this sentence struck me and i've been chewing on it pretty much non-stop:

"I have found, in my own spiritual life, that the more rules I lay down for myself, the more sins I committ."

i couldn't have said it better myself. i feel like spurgeon had the exact same thought as i'm having - some 150 years earlier. i read that sentence and actually got excited - not because the message is great in an upbeat, pumped for life kind of way, but because i can relate exponentially. i'm a rule maker and list follower - at times i have lists of my "to do" lists - and there's some great structure that's found in these tendencies i have to organization, but there's a lot of potential for legalism, defeat, condemnation and further sin. one stumble into sin often perpetuates a slide into another.

which leads to repentance. today i realized that i kind of have categories for the sins i struggle with - and when i give into sin it's almost like i put it into a category in my mind and repent of that particular sin, praying i will not stumble with that one again - that i will turn from it. but really, i think those categories are "man-made" structures i've erected in my mind; my repentance is not to be categorical, purposed to work in one area independently. rather, my repentance in a moment or time of sin struggle is to move me away from that moment, action, thought, etc so that the rest of the day i'm moving back towards christ with him as my pursuit... my heart is changing and inclining closer and deeper into him.

it's not about behaviour modification. or cleaning up categories of my life. or struggles on an individual basis.

it's about my heart. that deceitful place. that wellspring of life. such a paradoxical concept.

repentance that is purposed to clean up an area of my behaviour only perpetuates the cycle of sin in my life - because repentance is about heart - not action!

my doing flows out of my being. repentance is about my being, not my doing.

our god is mindblowingly faithful.

i'm still mulling it over... and open for thoughts

t-r-u-s-t

2010-05-28T07:50:00.002+02:00

then abraham waited patiently and he received what god had promised.

hebrews 6:15

i've been mulling over this verse for the past few weeks. it's propped up on my nightstand so i can read it whenever my eye happens to catch it. i noticed tonite as i read it that i'm not sure if i've been really getting what it says. i've been reading it and telling myself, 'be patient and wait on the lord for your hearts desire', but that's in actuality not the message. because gods promises are true, they're real, they're for my good, not to harm me, but to continue the good work he started in me.

what the verse doesn't say is, "then abraham waited patiently and he received what god knew he wanted and because he's good and true would therefore give to him". nuh uhh. that's not the message.

how often do i read my bible, gleaning and glancing and skimming for the words i want to hear?

when i wait patiently, i receive what god has for me. not what i think is good for me. not what i have planned for myself.

cause god knows what is best. he is trustworthy.

the question is, then, do i trust him?

insomniatic idiosyncrasy

2010-05-26T10:02:00.002+02:00

it's almost 2 am. i can't sleep. obviously. i'm like the queen of rhetorical statements. i think that's a paradox. since i'm devoid of slumber i'm slightly ridiculous. but that's okay. someone who's also ridiculous but in the best way possible and in a way i'd like to be: Charles Haddon Spurgeon. that guy is a dude and a half. here's an excerpt from his autobiographical works i've been mulling over as late:

~
finally, i bear my witness that he is full of truth. true have his promises been; not one has failed. i have often doubted him - for that i blush. he has never failed me; in this i must rejoice. his promises have been yea and amen. i do but speak the testimony of every believer in christ, though i put it thus personally to make it the more forcible. i bear witness that never servant had such a master as i have; never a brother had such a kinsman as he has been to me; never a spouse had such a husband as christ has been to my soul; never a sinner a better savior; never a solider a better captain; never a mourner a better comforter than christ has been to my spirit. i want none beside him. in life, he is my life, and in death, he shall be the death of death. in poverty, christ is my riches. in sickness, he makes my bed. in darkness, he is my star. and in brightness, he is my sun. by faith i understand that the blessed son of god redeemed my soul with his own heart's blood, and by sweet experience i know that he raised me up from the pit of dark despair and set my feet on the rock. he died for me. this is the root of every satisfaction i have. he put all my transgressions away. he cleansed me with his precious blood; he covered me with his perfect righteousness; he wrapped me up in his own virtues. he has promised to keep me, while i abide in this world, from its temptations and snares. and when i depart from this world, he has already prepared for me a mansion in the heaven of unfading bliss, and a crown of everlasting joy that shall never, never fade away. to me, then, the days or years of my mortal sojourn on this earth are of little moment. nor is the manner of my decease of much consequence. should foemen sentence me to martyrdom or physicians declare that i must soon depart this life, it is all alike.

what more can i wish than that, while my brief term on earth shall last, i should be the servant of him who became the servant of servants for me?
~

what a guy, what a guy. i want to desire and know my lord with the same vehemence of that of the brother spurgeon.

waking up

2010-05-25T07:50:00.003+02:00

well now, more than 2 months later. i'm back. a few things have changed. school's done (praise the lord), i've increased a number on the year counter (yep, had a bday) and i was MIA from the blogging world for a while... (among many other things).

i think i'm probably blogging today because i woke up today. not literally. i mean, ya, literally. i've been getting up every morning since march 4th (that's the last day i blogged). but today was a different kind of wake up. one of those ones akin to an epiphany whereby it's not the literal opening of the eyes after a night of slumber, but the wakening of the heart (soul?) to a realization.

really, i have been waking up each day - but i've been terribly off course as of late in my rising. see, tonite i was reminded of the basics of life. really, the one basic. the only one that matters. the basic question of "who am i living for today?"... out of that one flows a myriad of questions: is the purpose of my life today for the glory of god or the worship of self? am i going to use today to further the gospel in my life and in the life of others? am i living out of the humble, confident, joy that the gospel graciously allows me to?

we talked about the gospel: what is it? what does it mean? such basic questions. such profound applications. if the fact that jesus came, lived a perfect life - the life we were supposed to live - and did so without sin, then not only died on the cross but rose again, enduring complete separation from the one source of goodness we have on earth in our Father God, and then defeated that sin for us by rising from the dead... if that fact impacts my mind, heart and hands on a daily level... everything changes.

so i've been waking up lately, but the gospel has not been the focus of my heart. in compete honesty... ... my heart has been focused on what Chelsa wants. what's my life lacking? why don't i have it? where am i going to get it? how can i manipulate this situation? this is starting to look a lot like my last posting where by the dog gave me an illustration of the selfishness of my life... guess i just didn't quite get it.

i've been off in left field pursuing the world, so distracted from the one thing worth living for - the one thing that will completely satisfy and answer the questions of my heart.

while today has been hard, full of tears and questions, i'm so thankful that something in me broke. that i woke up after months of thinking i'm fine. here it is again... i'm not!

i am increasingly discovering and realizing the depths of my sinfulness; but as i see this in myself i am also increasing in my realization of how great God's holiness is. and that's the gospel - filling in the gap is the grace that jesus' death provides. he is SO faithful. he is SO good. he never gets too busy to love us. he never stops being full of grace. he is always GOD.

my faith is something i cannot take credit for. it's a gift. so glad i woke up today.

i know how i'm going to choose to wake up tomorrow.

lessons from the pooch

2010-03-04T06:03:00.002+01:00

the dog and i have been spending a lot of time together lately. it's mainly because i'm her sole caregiver in the absence of my parents, rather than because i have some increased affinity for the beast. i don't. she drives me crazy in so many ways. i would choose the cat over the dog any day, without hesitation! yes, the cat is a diva, but she's incredibly more self sufficient.

i decided it would be good for both the dog and i if we went for a few walks/runs in the absence of her regular walk with my mom. when i got home from school on monday, tia was there, waiting with great anticipation as usual. i think this is the part where most people get warm fuzzies towards man's best friend. for me, it begins the "no bark" game as the great pooch won't shut up! it doesn't even matter that we're not even really friends, she can't hold herself back!

so the dog begins the usual charade: whining, hollering, howling, moaning, barking, baying... u name it. the pathetic pooch is making a scene and a half. just because someone arrived home and her long list of needs were about to be met. it's almost as though i could hear her brain flitting back and forth between thoughts... through her barking, this is what i heard:

ME ME ME ME ME ME!!
pay attention to me!
look at me!
touch me!
pet me!
i wanna walk!
i want a treat!
when are we going for a walk?
pet me!
love me!
ME ME ME ME ME!!

i rolled my eyes and desperately wished i could just tell her to shut up and hold on for 2 seconds... a walk was just around the corner with all the needed amenities - bathroom break, treats, pets, etc. how could it get that through to her thick, doggy-brained skull?

and then it struck me.

i'm just like the dog.

how often am i pleading with god... please Lord, take this from me? when is this going to happen? when will this change? why is this, that or the other thing happening? can't you just DO something? i want to be here... i want to be there. ME ME ME ME ME!!!

YIKES - i'm just like the dog!!!

god knows what's around the corner for my life. and it's for my good. and his glory.

the parallel just about ends there. in no way, shape or form could this analogy cover the DEPTH and BREADTH of what god has for us... nor the scope of his goodness. i walked the dog out of a sense of duty. god loves us because he made us, he delights in us, we're his children and his plans for us are good. thank jesus for his redeeming work on the cross and the perspective his life gives ours; this whole joy in the circumstances thing is really kicking me in the butt this year!

the dog's whining again... i guess it's time for another walk. :D

lessons from the dancin' guy

2010-02-19T23:11:00.000+01:00

if you haven't seen this video on how to create momentum in leadership... you should probably watch this!

go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW8amMCVAJQ

you will not be disappointed!

sista got hitched!

2010-02-11T15:53:00.002+01:00

i just got home from 9 glorious days in columbus, ohio. GOOD TIMES! the reason i was there was my little sister got married. i guess she's not so little anymore since she's married and therefore has to grow up. i'm sure she's loving it though. the wedding was one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen. the sweetest part was that i left feeling encouraged in my faith and like i want to pursue christ with an intensity that i haven't yet before. there are so many things i could say, but i'll just leave it at that and post a few pics. i sure wish i'd taken more!!

i'll never look at bread the same again

2010-01-25T04:55:00.004+01:00

today i embarked on a new adventure. well really, it's an old adventure in a new suit. it's that delightful thing those of us consumed with study, paying awfully high amounts of cash to people who don't know how to teach (unless they're education profs, and then they have it down to a science... supplemented with journalling)... and i do believe that tangent proves just that point i'm trying to get at... if i could stop getting distracted... the cat just walked by so i took a few minutes to pet her and now, 45 minutes later, i'm back to the sentence. what is it with students in refining the fine art of delaying the inevitable until the absolute last possible moment, whereby it becomes an emergency that all else in life must stop for?? so i baked some bread today. and i made a bunch of other healthy food for the week... i'm kind of on a whole foods kick, but i'm not going all out into the whole foods world. i've spent wayyy too many years being an all or nothing person, in too many areas of my life - some of which has turned positive results, most of which has served to further confuddle my brain, which is an conundrum unto itself. so i figured that if i went all or nothing on the thinking of being all or nothing that would just negate itself and i'd end up a square one with a whole bunch of wasted time and energy. speaking of time and energy, i baked some bread today. and mmmm, it was gooood. here's a picture of the delightful loaves themselves. the smell in the house was INCREDIBLE. so ya, i procrastinate. but the bread was good!

check out the golden loaves for yourself:

2010-01-22T00:57:00.002+01:00

i love fantasy movies. in so many ways it's a chance to escape the realities of daily life and enter into someone else's world for a bit. i'm learning more and more about myself that, although i like to call myself a realist, sometimes i'm an escapist too and it's not always a good thing.

there's some sin in my life - okay, understatement - i'm messed up and struggle - and lately my struggle with sin, some particularly nasty sin at that, has got me looking to relocate. somehow the thought of being in a different space or circumstance has me imaging that things would be different.

in elementary school we used to do these exercises in math using the abbreviation LCD. we'd reduce numbers down to see just how low they could be taken without losing the relative ratio between the two. do you remember what that stands for? LCD is the Lowest Common Denominator.

no matter where my physical body goes, the reality is that I am the lowest common denominator in it all. stripped down to the most basic level of my being, my sin will not change with my circumstances. ya it might look different, but it's still ME and that i cannot escape. and i wasn't made to, because if relocation allowed me to escape, why would i need jesus? i cannot escape myself, because life is about learning to deal with sin and make the choice to say 'yes' to jesus in those times when i really just want to run away from it all.

fantasy movies are fun, they show you what the story teller wants you to see about the characters and the story. but those characters, on some layer, are just like the rest of us. the difference is we get to see a pointed snapshot into their lives.

i love rhyming, so this is what i will end with:

if the LCD is me then i need JC!!

hockey nation

2010-01-03T21:19:00.004+01:00

i love hockey. i love canada. and i LOVE canadian hockey. this year the world junior championships were held in my very own city and i had the chance to watch over 12 games! wootwoot! it was sweet to see so many international players, teams and coaches competing in one place. it was also incredible the way the city of regina worked together to volunteer and to attend the games - even though team canada played all their games in saskatoon. it's hard to sum up what canadian hockey is all about. it's kind of more of a feeling, a lifestyle, something that permeates the canadian psychie. it's a given.

i found this commercial. it gave me goosebumps. it made me giggle. when it comes to hockey, i'm like a kid in a candy shop. i LOVE the game. if you're wondering what all the madness is about... check out the link below. it will explain a lot.

can't wait for vancouver!!

GO CANADA GO! :)

back to euro!

2009-10-16T21:08:00.006+02:00

my life is raaaandom - and i love it!

a new adventure looms on the horizon... the very near horizon, that is! in less than 2 weeks i'm hopping on a jet plane, with my gal pal arielle schade, bound for prague, czech republic! what on earth, you say?!.... yep, true story.

this time, instead of playing with the czechs, i'll be suiting up for team Turkey at the european cup. last year we beat this team quite handily (i won't remind you of the painful, imbalanced score but you can go through the archives to check it out if you're really curious!) but let's just say it was decently lopsided - a gross understatement. last year the turks flew in some foreigners from canada, sweden and finland, so this year arielle and i thought we'd do some marketing of ourselves to see if turkey would be interested in us being the imports that would join their squad for the tourney. having seen both of us play last year, they were interested and within a weeks time had all the details ironed out between hockey canada and the turkish ice hockey federation. so my player card officially belongs to the turkish ice hockey federation for this season. that's almost comical to think about!

october 27th we depart for two weeks of life on the other side of the atlantic, yet again. i'm looking SO forward to being back in prague - a city i love dearly - seeing people who have become like family in my time overseas and friends i'll never forget! we'll have 4 days with the turkish team and the rest of our time will be up to us to fill... which i'm sure we'll have no problem doing. even if i sit in the old square for a whole day and just people watch, sip a mug of czech beer (definitely staropramen!!) and contemplate life, i will be utterly satisfied!

god is so good - and his timing is AWESOME. and i feel SO blessed to have this incredible opportunity!

oak trees and the "eff" train

2009-10-16T00:06:00.003+02:00

i'm reading a book right now titled "I really want to change... so help me God", by James McDonald. i admit, the title is cheesy and sounds like a self-help book. on a strong recommendation from my sister, i decided to give it a shot and it's been an awesome journey the past few weeks! the book is anti-self and pro-Jesus. i can work with that!

the current chapter is entitled, "I'm dead to that" and i want to share an illustration on man and sin that i think is so accurate, a great picture, and helps give some perspective to overcoming sin. i think one of the hardest things about personal change is the time it takes... we are one impatient culture and we want things now. i really might as well just substitute "I" for "we" in that cause i'm talking about myself.

the subheading on this one: don't trust feelings (good already, right?!)
__________

When Christ stepped out of that tomb on that first Easter morning, the power of sin was broken. Sin can no longer take control of you if you are in Christ. It can't tell you what to do. It can't boss you around. Its power is broken.

"I don't feel like it's broken," you say. Don't trust your feelings! It's the same as when you came to Christ; at first maybe you didn't feel as though anything great had happened, but you believed the Word of God and acted upon it. As you look back, you know you haven't been the same since that moment. In the same way, if you, by faith, accept the truth that the power of sin is broken in you, you might not feel different, but over time you will be different.

"Well, why do I still feel so alive to the power of sin?" you ask. Picture a very tall oak tree in the centre of a park. The whole park is full of oak trees. And the tallest one - the strongest one - in the centre has a big, tall trunk extending up into the sky. It's a beautiful oak tree. But planted at the base of the oak tree is a strong, thick vine. It's been there for many years; in fact, the vine has grown up and wrapped its way around the trunk of that oak tree and out along the branches. Now, after many years, the entire tree is covered by that vine.

Now imagine for a moment that your life represents the oak tree, and the vine represents sin. When you came to Christ, it's as though God Almighty took an ax to the base of that vine and cut that thing off. And let me tell you something: The vine is dead! You say, "It doesn't feel dead. It is still all over me!" Right. And if you will begin to cooperate with God and do what you are about to learn, that old vine can be cast off in your life and you will begin to experience the victory that is rightfully yours.
__________

that's James McDonald and i would definitely recommend his book to all looking to break free from the power of sin... ok, so everyone should read it!

it makes me think of another great thing i learned last year (the eff train)... it even has alliteration, which brings me joy in and of itself:

fact, faith, feeling

the idea being to keep it in that order!

cool stuff... tough, but so glad it's not up to me on my own!!

but look for christ

2009-10-07T07:31:00.003+02:00

give up yourself, and you will find your real self. lose your life and you will save it. submit to death, death of your ambitions and favorite wishes everyday and death of your whole body in the end. submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. keep back nothing. nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin and decay. but look for christ and you will find him, and with him, everything else thrown in.

cs lewis

inconvenient, yet highly enjoyable, outbursts of laughter

2009-10-06T00:44:00.002+02:00

i don't know if anyone else from the compass ever reads my blog (other than blair), but just in case you do...

since 'catchphrase' on saturday night, i cannot shake from my memory the chaos that ensued during that game... what blair and murray looked like as they screamed, shouted, sometimes shook with intensity... the guys cheating (admit it, you cheated boys!)... joel skipping over numerous words that clearly were not that difficult to describe... danielle trying to control jon's hand actions to no avail... and so many other things. the ridiculous thing is these mental images keep popping into my head at random moments and i burst out into giggles. i mean really, not a bad problem to have, but it does earn a girl some strange looks! haha.

good times in community on saturday night! looking forward to the next shin-dig... more fun will ensue, i'm sure of it!

:)

independent woman...

2009-10-05T16:28:00.003+02:00

i realized last night how much i've been trying to do life on my own lately. the past few days have been tough as i battle through sins the lord is showing me - some new discoveries, some not so new - this being a request i asked of him! but now that i'm seeing all this stuff and realizing just how messed up i am - and i know this doesn't even scratch the surface let alone touch on what i'm capable of - god's love is even more incredible to me and christ's death is even greater. because it's not a matter of the lord being tolerant of my sin. he HATES it. but he sees me through christ and that's the hand that's holding me from his wrath.

yesterday at the compass, we heard about the incomprehensible humility of christ. at one point in the service, i felt the iron hand of my pride slap me in the face. i don't really think of myself as a prideful person, but i'm deceiving myself. and it's got to stop! i get into this habit of comparing myself to people around me instead of that of christ through the word. blair cut to the reality of the situation with this sentence we each wrote down in our notes: i murdered jesus.

awkward silence?

have you ever thought about it that way? i think i have, but yesterday i felt it and it was AWFUL. especially as i'm sitting there hearing about the humility of christ - all of a sudden this divine being who died a few millennium ago has my name fused to the brutal death he endured. no, not his death - his murder. but it's true. how dare we think of it any other way!

when i think about the humility of christ, his absolute surrender of ALL his rights for my sin - despite his impeccable track record of human living - it's convicting. in a good way. how can i do life on my own when it's impossible to be truly humble without christ? how much time do i waste thinking about things that are not pure, lovely, admirable? thinking about myself? trying to plan out my future and get life done on my own? how could i try to do these things knowing what christ has done for me?? knowing his humility in life AND in death.

i want to be a radical follower of christ! i know my heart is already aching for heaven where there will be no pain, no suffering, no pride. but humility is possible in this life, through surrender to jesus, by immersion in the word and letting that alone transform my life.

the words, the rest of my life, are overwhelming in and of themselves... but if i stop and reflect on it, i'd much rather do that and enjoy the victory, freedom and fullness of christ than do life selfishly on my own just because it's easier. ya, easier for sure, but empty!

is a humble christian a paradox in our society? not if we listen to scripture and strive to live out this humility we see in true life with jesus!

2009-09-28T02:42:00.003+02:00

something that pressed into me while overseas was the incredible importance of small groups. during the hockey season i was unable to get to one of the small groups that met every week from Faith Community church in prague. once march rolled around and hockey ended, i got plugged into one of these groups and it really spurred me on in my walk with christ. god did some big stuff in me during those months!

there's something so powerful about the body getting together and purposefully doing life together, challenging, holding accountable, speaking into one another's lives. i found these points on small groups as laid out by john piper on desiringgod.org and just thought they were awesome. here they are:

7 Reasons We Need Small Groups
1.The impulse avoid painful growth by disappearing safely into the crowd in corporate worship is very strong.

2.The tendency toward passivity in listening to a sermon is part of our human weakness.

3.Listeners in a big group can more easily evade redemptive crises. If tears well up in your eyes in a small group, wise friends will gently find out why. But in a large gathering, you can just walk away from it.

4.Listeners in a large group tend to neglect efforts of personal application. The sermon may touch a nerve of conviction, but without someone to press in, it can easily be avoided.

5.Opportunity for questions leading to growth is missing. Sermons are not dialogue. Nor should they be. But asking questions is a key to understanding and growth. Small groups are great occasions for this.

6.Accountability for follow-through on good resolves is missing. But if someone knows what you intended to do, the resolve is stronger.

7.Prayer support for a specific need or conviction or resolve goes wanting. O how many blessings we do not have because we are not surrounded by a band of friends who pray for us.

i feel like i'm saying this all the time now... but SO GOOD, right?!

daily dose of truth

2009-09-26T18:41:00.000+02:00

My sister posted these great thoughts on her blog a while back... i'm posting them here because they're SO great and something everyone needs to hear everyday! they're from JD Greer and he says them to himself every morning.

SO GOOD.

“God, because I am in Christ I know there is nothing I can do today that would make you love me any more, and there is nothing I have done that makes you love me any less.”

“God, your presence and approval is all I need to have joy today.”

“God, everything the gospel tells me about your intentions for my life is TRUE.”

you should mosey on over to her blog and check out some of the cool stuff going on her life when you get a chance!
www.jodyheywood.blogspot.com

2009-09-25T02:42:00.006+02:00

so i guess now that i'm not in the czech republic anymore i need to think of a new name for my blog. two minutes for czeching just doesn't seem appropriate when i'm clearly not in the czech and no longer number one on the list for people to penalize. well, not that i was ever number one - i think that title would go to ms. jackie friesen. seems the refs in europe couldn't get enough of seeing her skate to the box.

the reference to hockey might not be so appropriate - or rather - applicable since hockey is going to be a substantially smaller part of my world now that i'm back in canada.

yep, back on the homefront. now that i've been back for almost 3 months, i just experienced my first week of feeling like i'm happy to be here. it's been a tough adjustment - last week i almost bought a ticket to prague i missed the place so badly. i had to keep repeating to myself what is true about life: god is sovereign, god is sovereign, god is sovereign. if not for that incredible truth, i think i might have gone crazy! but he is sovereign and i rest and rejoice in that - even though i don't always like what that requires of me.

surrender? denying my own wishes? not planning out my future myself? seriously?? is that even possible? well, truth be told, it's not - not on our own strength at least. that's why our great and mighty god gave us the gift of faith... that he increases as we seek him so that becoming more like christ is even possible... that we can do those things that seem upside-down and are often completely against our will and the desires of fleshly, sinful man.

what does the world who doesn't know him do? do they think about such things? what governs their motives and assures them of the validity of their decisions? i can only begin to imagine the varied list of fillers... what happens to those things when we die? i bet none of it leads to soul satisfaction, peace, joy, freedom from circumstances.

last sunday at the compass (www.compassregina.com) blair talked about our joy not being in external circumstances but the forward progress of the gospel. that is one HARD thing to do - but again, it's not about us doing it... but the Lord doing it in us. and how is that even possible?? the power of christ, his death and resurrection, and saving grace that he extends to all of mankind. the compass is a new church that's recently started up in regina and the lord led me there this summer. i'm so jacked about it and excited to see what god's going to do in a body of people who love christ and seek to live missionally for the gospel.

what would happen if all the christians in regina really GOT it... really started surrendering, living for jesus, stepping out of their comfort zones, denying themselves and sharing what god is doing in their lives with others. it's my prayer that god would do that in me!

and wooaaaahhhh, it would be incredible, the transformation we'd see in this city. but why not?? look at the lord's resume... if anyone's qualified to do it - HE IS.

sidewalk bodytalk

2009-05-26T14:14:00.003+02:00

i don't know if i've ever mentioned this before, but there's not much by way of personal space in this country. even when there exists space to be used, often it is still not. case in point: this morning i'm driving home from our first AIA project meeting of 2009, and i saw two women walking on the sidewalk. there were people scattered throughout, but definitely enough space for everyone to walk comfortably. despite this fact, i watched as the two women walked past each other and gave a clear shoulder check to one another - both their arms went flying awkwardly into the air, but neither stopped or even gave a second glance. they went on as if nothing had happened! it was incredible to me. if that happened in north america, someone would have been shouting, possibly punching, maybe even calling their lawyer.

a similiar story comes from my great pal, arielle schade, who spent the year with me here in the czech republic. this time, the setting is italy. arielle is a fairly tall, strong gal (after playing hockey for years and being, well, canadian). she told me that when she was travelling through italy, she was getting fed up with being bumped, nudged, bodychecked, etc., by passersby, so decided to take matters into her own hands. she resolved that the next time someone walked closely past her, she wouldn't dodge out of the way or try to avoid running into them. unfortunately for her, the next person to come her way was a man - a man apparently without regard for anyone else using the space around him. this might be an extreme case, but none the less, it did happen. so arielle braced herself and as the man approached, she even leaned into it a little. BAM. the guy slammed right into her and sent her flying to the side, shoulder aching and feeling more than a little ticked. the guy didn't look back, didn't say sorry, apparently he hadn't noticed the shoulder check he'd administered on the sidewalk in rome.

i guess the moral of the story is... if you don't wanna get hit, you better get out of the way! what a place, this european nation.

brokenness, an epiphany

2009-05-12T23:54:00.004+02:00

last night i had an epiphany. a good one. one that's maybe been a really long time coming.

yesterday i turned 25.

that's not the epiphany. but it's part of it. see, birthdays to me are a big deal. but this year was a hard birthday because i was felt more alone than i ever have. it was my first bday away from home and therefore the people that know me best were not around to make my day the awesome day it usually is. it was an ordinary day, with some disappointing rainchecks, a hard off-ice training session containing completely hockey-unrelated exercises, and just an uber-normalesque day. i think these, combined with the low after a great weekend,plus the emotional state i was in, left me feeling nothing but broken.

i got home from practice and cried in bed for quite a while. soon i let the rational thought switch turn on and wondered at my state. i was feeling the intense emptiness of being alone on such a big day and feelings are totally legit. but i was quivering on the edge of letting myself feel unloved. it was time to put the F train to work: fact, faith then feelings. at that point i stopped and opened my bible. it was time for some truth.

now some of you might be wondering at my mental/emotional state, that i would cry over a bday. it's not like i'm 16 or something. but those of you who have lived overseas, far away from home, from normalcy, from your support system, probably know that what i'm talking about is really not that crazy. being in the midst of this whole situation is sometimes just really hard.

so what did i learn last night? here are words of truth that spoke to my heart:

"So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help. O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. He will be gracious if you ask for help. He will surely respond to the sound of your cries. Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you. You will see your teacher with your own eyes."
Isaiah 30:18-19

people are going to let me down. i'm going to have times where i feel unloved - whether that's true or not. but last night in my brokennes and in god's goodness he taught me this:

if no one ever loves me and if everyone i know lets me down, he'll still love me and he'll still be the same kind and loving god he is.

and that's good enough for me.

here's to 25 years and one amazing Father.

loving a person

2009-05-03T12:13:00.002+02:00

Loving a person just the way they are, it's no small thing
It takes some time to see things through
Sometimes things change, sometimes we're waiting
We need grace either way

Hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through

There's a lot of pain in reaching out and trying
It's a vulnerable place to be
Love and pride can't occupy the same spaces baby
Only one makes you free

Hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through

If we go looking for offense
We're going to find it
If we go looking for real love
We're going to find it

i love this song by sara groves because sometimes loving the people in our world is one of the hardest things we're called to do. among other things, our most staggering obstacle is the disease of self, rooted in pride. how can we eliminate this ugly tendency from our lives when, in our pride, we can't even see ourselves the way we truly are?

here are eugene peterson's words from the message, a new favorite translation of mine:

In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.

Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.

But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.

Anyone who sets himself up as "religious" by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world.

so loving a person comes back to spending time in front of that mirror so that we know who we truly are... so that when we glance into our mirrors we see christ and we know who we are and therefore how we act, how we treat people, the way we live our lives.

loving a person's no small thing... so start with christ.

JC using JP to tell it like it is...

2009-04-14T22:49:00.004+02:00

you know you've been mia for just a little while when your URL doesn't even recognize your own blog name when you start typing it in.

hey, i'm back. at least for a bit. ;)

i listened to a sermon today by john piper and it was SO awesome. lately i've been thinking a lot about the WORD and how i don't really spend time memorizing scripture. so when i signed up for the desiring god sermon audio by j.p himself, i immediately downloaded the talk named "if my words abide in you".

john doesn't beat around the bush. the first 17 minutes he spent quoting scripture. it was one of the most powerful and profound things i've heard in a reeeeeally long time. here are 8 points he made about memorizing scripture:

1. it makes meditation possible at time when you can't be reading the bible. meditation is the pathway to deeper understanding.

2. it strengthens my faith because faith comes from hearing.

3. it shapes the way i view the world by conforming my mind to god's viewpoint on everything.

4. it makes god's word more readily accessible in overcoming temptation to sin because god's warnings and promises are the way we conquer the deceitful lies of the devil.

5. it guards my mind, making it easier for me to detect error. the world is filled with error because the god of this world is a liar.

6. it enables me to hit the devil in the face, with a force he cannot resist, to protect myself and my family from his assaults. he's millions of times stronger than me and not only that, he hates me, my friends and my family.

7. it provides the strongest and sweetest words for ministering to others in need.

8. it provides the matrix for fellowship with Jesus because he talks to me here in the word and no where else.

good stuff, eh??

he said a bunch of other great stuff, too, but i'll leave you with this sweet thought:

God made us with a brain so that we can connect the words from the bible to our hearts and minds. In this process the Holy Spirit sanctifies us through faith in Christ!

end of ewhl

2009-02-20T10:27:00.002+01:00

this is a big hockey weekend for hc slavia praha. we play the remaing two games of our ewhl season this weekend. croatia is making the drive to prague in what will be the ewhl clinching battle of the season. oh waaaaait. croatia still has no wins in their season, so the next two games will strictly be a formality. we'll still get to play, but it's never the same when you know you're going to win. it's kind of sad, actually!

after this weekend we have the national final series with Kladno (home of czech's own beloved hero, jaromir jagr) in a best of 7. the 4th game will be on march 8th, so that's when i'm pretty sure our season will end. we've heard down the hockey grapevine that kladno is stacking their team with girls from other teams who've already lost out. i really hope so, because that would make the games a lot more fun! maybe they'll even take one from us (you know it's bad when you're hoping the other team will win a game to make things interesting!).

last weekend the team headed to slovenia for our last road trip of the season. i stayed home, as i had the flu and ralph just wouldn't go away. it was a restful day at home, though i hardly remember it as i slept until noon, napped in the afternoon, and then went to bed early. i guess that's pretty strong confirmation you're sick!

the end of this month will bring some visitors to prague. ashley dejaegher, a former teammate with the cougs and good friend of arielle's, is coming to visit for a month and a half. she'll be taking off on some euro adventures during that time, too. next saturday jackie's brother, jarret, is coming for a week which will be intersected with the arrival of jackie's parents. i'm SO looking forward to having some parents around to hang out with! ;)

mom and dad... you can always make a last minute trip!!

2009-02-03T23:48:00.003+01:00

i don't know what's with me lately... but i've blogged more in the past week than i did the past two months! maybe there's just so much to think about that i feel like writing it all down. or rambling it all down. sometimes that's the best way to think... rambling. then some poor, unfortunate soul gets to read your inner workings from the convenience of their home, office, blackberry??

did anyone watch nadal defeat roger (yes, we're on a first name basis) today for the australian open? i was definitely crying with roger during the award ceremony. what a guy. or hear about kobe's 61 points last night? ridiculous. maybe if both teams played some defense, that wouldn't be possible!

recently i ventured through the city with some friends, returning solo to my flat via tram. a few things cracked me up. firstly, there were only a few people on the tram to begin with, one of which was a girl sitting kitty-corner from me. apparently she was oblivious to the fact that i was sitting right there. unlike her oblivity, i was keenly aware of the fact that she was checking herself out in the dark, reflective glass in front of her. she wasn't just checking for food between her teeth, she was puckering, making model faces, adjusting her hat. i almost lost it. almost as tragic as her modelling was the fact that i had no one to laugh with. so i laughed alone. maybe we were a pair of crazies after all. a few stops later, a guy enters the tram and chooses the spot RIGHT BESIDE me, despite the fact that the tram is at this point basically empty. sits down, makes himself comfortable, doesn't think anything of it. i mean, maybe he was just seeking a little bit of companionship...? either way, also hilarious, though somewhat uncomfortable at the same time.

tonite i went to see a movie - it was horribly depressing, btw - with leo and kate. unlike their last cinematic duet, this one was not so heroic or romantic. it was highly disappointing, but not because leo and kate didn't do a great job, but just because their on-screen chemistry was wasted on an all around negative story. i guess i'm not a realist when it comes to movies, but i really prefer the escapism of fantasy, romance, the totally unrealistic films of the day. on that note, go see twilight... it's a no-miss!

it's midnight now and my mind is still going 100kms an hour...

...maybe i shouldn't have had that espresso post-movie after all.

who's hand are you holding?

2009-02-02T15:10:00.002+01:00

we sang this song yesterday at church. it's simple, but profound.

i love it...

i will hold on to the hand of my savior
and i will hold on with all my might
i will hold loosely to things that are fleeting
and hold on to jesus
i will hold on to jesus for life

magical castles and family night

2009-01-30T11:01:00.006+01:00

at the beginning of january, jackie and i roadtripped to fussen, germany, to watch the u-18 female world championships. five kilometres outside of fussen are two amazing castles - one of which was the inspiration for walt disney in building his famous castles at walt disneyland and disneyworld.

the first pic is at the rink with the following being around the castle grounds. it was a 40 minute walk up to the castle - an extremely pleasant, crisp morning walk.

last night the canadian flat in prague had familiy night! jackie made her famous honey-almond chicken with rice, i made a salad and we finished it off with coffee (french-press style) and dessert - courtesy of jackie again. she made her mom's homemade chocolate pudding recipe. sooo good! arielle and jeni provided the whip cream for the pudding and of course, the entertainment - themselves! it was great to eat a meal sitting around the table and sharing life. our friend, kelly, who plays with vienna (and is a fellow Saskatchewanite) is here visiting, so she joined us for family dinner. kelly first visited as she and jeni became friends in saskatoon, but after visiting a few times she's a "family" friend now! :D come back soon, kelly!

here are some pics from the night:

today must be a blogging day

2009-01-25T23:03:00.005+01:00

lately i've been thinking a lot about the concept of worshiping and mulling, for the past 6 months actually, what it means to be a missionary. the two relate so completely and wholly.

you are a missionary for what you worship.

does that make sense? according to the Word, we were created to worship, to give our heart, soul and mind to something we can believe in, to stake our lives on, something to give us sense and meaning. some people choose work, family, music, celebrities, god, etc. to fill that longing.

i was thinking too, about the "pressure" that exists once you're labelled or give yourself the label of missionary. i mean, i guess for this phase of my life it's my "job", but i really hope it'll always be my calling if not my official job here on earth.

then there's the whole other aspect of the pressure of being a missionary because there exists this idea that somehow a missionary is perfect, has it all together, has amazing quiet times everyday! that might sound ridiculous when you read it on paper, but who doesn't think that about missionaries in your head? you hear a missionary speak and you're like, wow, they really love jesus. they're in the stinkin' african jungle or some other random location, living for god. but isn' that their heart, their specific calling? if your calling is to stay at home and work a different job, then you're still a missionary. your field is just not somewhere far away from home.

if you love jesus, you're a missionary for jesus. if you love pop culture, you're a missionary for that because it's what you worship. maybe this is the ramblings of someone who's thoughts have been bouncing around for too long without rationalization.

if anything, life has gotten harder since i became a missionary for jesus. maybe some of that is just as we get older we realize how chronic, how embeded in human nature, is sin and death. and really how prone to it we all are, no matter our "title". some of it is that satan is threatened by someone who loves jesus. if i worship making money, what's it to him? i'm not following hard after jesus anymore, am i?

so i guess to go back to that random sentence a few paragraphs up, you're a missionary for what you worship because the things we worship are the things we've given value to, that we spend our time, money and effort on. they're the things we talk about, that we want to discuss with others.

so what's the point of writing all this down? i donno, maybe you have some thoughts you can shoot my way. i guess it's just that sometimes there's pressure to feel like i have to talk to people about jesus, because i forget that i WANT to do that. i want them to know his love, his absolute cleansing forgiveness, that he delights over them. and that what their hearts are REALLY searching for is the depth of life lived through a relationship with god in christ.

i'm a missionary for jesus because he's who i worship. it comes down to the simple, yet life-changing realization, that he's worth staking everything i have on.

PS

2009-01-25T11:49:00.004+01:00

the bid for the euro cup ended in the second round. we were swept by finland, 1-0, and khazakhstan, 4-2, and then beat denmark, 10-0. us four canadians kind of think that if coach karel had played us together for all the periods, instead of only the last period against khaz where we scored two goals, that we might have been more successful over all. just our thoughts, but i guess we'll never know!

next year...???

2009-01-25T10:52:00.002+01:00

i wish i could somehow explain just how beautiful this country is, but i don't think it's possible to convey with words. even pictures barely suffice. it's something you have to see for yourself.

for the first time in a long time, prague got snow over the holidays. i wish i had snapped pictures when i had the chance because it was incredibly beautiful! i'm not exactly sure what it is that makes things so attractive around here - i think it's the intricate detailing of the facades, and the mix of man made beauty with what god already had here.

since late december i've started running, preparing for the prague half marathon at the end of march(a new challenge!). almost everyday i jog down to an incredible park, 3 minutes from my house, to complete my run. i've fallen in love with running, but i don't know how much that has to do with the actual running part or the fact that i'm running in the amazing surroundings of stromovka. the trees are tall, old, somehow reverent, the paths criss-cross, connecting the ponds, rocks and benches. there are always people there running, walking, visiting, enjoying being outside.

i'll keep you updated on marathon training... we'll see if stromovka can keep me trucking when i'm logging an hour and a half!

2008-12-06T11:06:00.002+01:00

Ok, so I've been gone for a while. I'm not even going to try and play catch-up. Instead, I'll direct you to the blog of my roommate, Jackie, who does an awesome job of blogging on a weekly (daily??) basis. Her site is: www.czechhockeyadventure.blogspot.com. I think she even posts pictures every once in a while! ;)

I guess I'll start at today... make that yesterday. This weekend is the semi-final round of the European Women Champions Cup (EWCC), which we are hosting. We're playing host to three other teams: Finland, Khazakhstan and Denmark.

Yesterday we opened the tournament with a game against Finland. The first period was a whirlwind... I hadn't played hockey at that speed since last year's Euro Cup tourney in Berlin! Once that monkey was off our backs, we relaxed in the second and played really well. Unfortunately, we lost the game 2-1, but despite the loss I think we gained some confidence. I don't know that our team has ever played a Finnish team and being that they usually play in the top pool for world championships and the Olympics, a 2-1 loss was not so bad.

BUT, if we want to move on to the finals, we have to win the next two games. Today is Khazakhstan and tomorrow Denmark. So it's going to be an intense one today as Khaz is a great team as well (it's pretty much their national team that's here).

After this weekend is over, my roommates and I start to trickle back to Canada. Jeni leaves Monday morning, Jackie next Thursday, Arielle 4 days after that and I'll be home the 19th. Wish it was sooner, but I work until the 18th so I'll be home as soon as I can.

You can check the tourney out on the web at www.iihf.com if you're interested!

GO SLAVIA!

night at the novaks... better than TV

2008-10-22T12:02:00.002+02:00

last night we went over to a teammate's house for supper. Sonja joined our team a few weeks ago... her parents are Czech/American and Sonja is also half and half. So hanging out at their house was a great blend of both cultures, though in English... much appreciated. it was amazing to have a homecooked meal made by a MOM (though Sonj did a lot of the cooking!) and to sit around the table, eat together and enjoy conversation.

Sonja's dad is a famous writing, with articles, books and journals published everywhere from the New York Times, to Men's Journal to non-fiction works in Czech on things that have happened in the history here. needless to say, Mr. Novak was an amazing story teller and we had our fill of laughter and entertainment. on the walk home we all remarked that we could have sat there and listened to him talk for hours. we were there for quite some time though, and managed to get the inside scoop on the latest assassination here in prague (just last week) within two mafia circles, to hear about the bbq mr. and mrs. novak went to in chicago to celebrate the movie "a league of their own" with some noteable names... Madonna, Tom Hanks, Gina Davies... etc. not to mention when he pulled out a story about Dominik Hasek, a friend of his (do we know him... he plays in the NHL...? to which we replied... we're CANADIAN! of course we know who he is!). so he told us a story Hasek told him about one of the olypmic games he played in with the Czech Republic.

it was a great night, very imformative. we discussed our team, czech culture - the things that are awesome and those that more like drive us crazy, the first time mr. novak saw a man die ("his face looked like hamburger", according to our descriptive storyteller... i guess that's what you get with a writer!)

much appreciated evening and a ton of fun!

jesus

2008-09-23T00:18:00.005+02:00

last week the lord, in a few different ways, impressed upon my heart the stark and simple truth of the following sentence:

Jesus is all i have.

way too often i get caught up in the DOING of my faith and forget that as much as that has value, the only thing i have to cling to is jesus. there's nothing i've done in my past that anything i do in my future can erase. there's no way that on my 'best behavior' for the rest of my life i'll measure up to anything even remotely close to being worthy of the lord's presence.

there's no do that is required of me, just YES. will i say YES to jesus today? will i say yes to spending time with him? to knowing him more? to opening up ALL of me to let him have even the parts of me that are so ugly i can hardly bare to let them show? will i say YES when he asks me to give up something i don't want to give up?

if jesus is all i have... if he's the way, truth and life... if there's no relationship with god without him... why do i think i can earn my way into anything?

jesus came that we might have life and have it to the fullest. when i simplify my thoughts about life and remember that

Jesus is all i have,

life seems so much less overwhelming, so much more do-able and my problems seem small in comparison to what he's already done for me. i feel able to approach the throne of the lord, still trembling, but knowing that he sees christ where there is really only a sinner.

it's not about what you do... it's not about being a better person and living a good life... it's about accepting christ everyday and living in the freedom of what's he's already done.

rainy day in prague

2008-09-15T12:14:00.002+02:00

this morning jeni and i are perched on my bed, checking email and chatting with frinds online. "what's this?" you say, "they have internet at home now?!"... umm, not quite. we're kind of borrowing a signal from a travel agency across the street. it's an unsecure line, therefore anyone can access it without a password. the funny thing is, the only place in our whole flat that can pick up the signal seems to be on my bed! how funny.

so we're typing away, finishing off mugs of coffee and listening to music... and the rain as it comes down. these are the days in prague that i love! i heart rain... to me they're like sunny days for most normal people.

jeni and i were just having a brief chat about life... and how we're all searching for something to make us happy and give us passion. my thoughts keep travelling down this path as we resume typing and i can't help but think about the Lord. and then thinking about my own life. what happens when i neglect to engage with him in my daily life? i KNOW him, and yet i still have days where my sinful nature eclipses the joy of my salvation... until i enter into his presence and am reminded of HOPE, JOY, LOVE and the fact that my passion is rooted in him. i am nourished with living water and the kind of food that satisfies beyond what we can imagine... or even know we desire.

the world is searching for something more. aren't we all??
praise him that we know where to look.

2008-08-26T21:42:00.004+02:00

The life of every great man is
the cross
and it is also
the way and
guide to
paradise.
And now that it has begun,
It is not lawful for me to turn my back
upon it or proper for me to abandon it.
Have done, therefore, my well-loved
brethren:
Let us go forth together.
Jesus will be with us:
For Jesus we have taken this cross,
For Jesus let us persevere and
He who is our guide and leader will be
our help.
So, our King who fights for us will go
before us.
Let us follow Him boldly,
let us fear no perils, but
be ready to die for Him manfully in
battle,
so that we place no blot upon our glory
or diminish our reward by fleeing like
cowards away from
The Cross.

-Thomas A. Kempis

2008-08-26T13:54:00.005+02:00

being in the czech republic has given me a glimpse into just how big god's kingdom here on earth really is. last year i had the strange experience of coming to the realization that czech people are just like me! ...i just don't understand what they're saying. they have hurts and joys, they want to be loved and valued, to find purpose in life. communication is so important to finding common ground with fellow man, whether that communication be in the same language or not. i can't imagine how much our world would change if we took a step back from one another and remembered that we're really all the same when it comes down to it.

on friday, as i was in slovakia for the weekend, i got to go to martina's christian group. i didn't understand the songs, i didn't understand the dialogue, and when her pastor got up to speak, i didn't understand her either. here are things that i did understand: closed eyes, contented smiles during times of praise, heads bowed together in prayer, laughter, giggles, the intensity and authority with which pastor mima spoke. though i didn't know what she said, i could feel her passion for the word and for the lord and i felt joy because of it.

martina loves the lord with all her heart. she spends time with him everyday, she reads her bible, she surrounds herself with people she can be encouraged by and those she can witness, too. when she talks about god, her face lights up. she's so real - god's not something saved for sundays... he's part of regular conversation. martina speaks some english, i speak some czech (similiar to slovak) and the words we don't speak are filled in by the spirit of christ in both of us. martina's heart beats for her teammates - that they would know the lord as she does. she's my sister in christ and one very cool reminder that god is everywhere and he's not restricted by our small minds or different languages. god is big here and everywhere.

there were so many random things that happened on the trip that were hilarious... here's just one of them. sarah and i were sitting in our cabin on a stop and low and behold, 6 guys in medieval garb hop on the train - complete with shining metal swords! we got a pretty good look at them as they were standing in the aisle right outside our cart. unfortunately, not only did they look medieval but we figured they were really getting into character as they smelled somewhat medieval as well (use your imagination! ;)

2008-08-16T19:13:00.000+02:00

we just got home from our week of training camp in strakonice. the week was definitely a challenge all-around. from stretching sessions, aerobics, practices without pucks, interesting czech cafeteria food, to an hour long team meeting we did not understand the week could hardly be called uneventful. oh ya, and then there was that american style football game we played. coach karel instructed us all to put on our shoulder pads and helmets and we headed over to the soccer field to run laps and then play some football. i don't have my computer now to download some of the video footage/pictures of the event, but lets just say it was hilarious. another interesting thing was the night before we had a game against a boys team, our curfew was lengthened to 11:30pm and lots of the girls went out drinking... some of them coming back in an 'interesting' state.

we were thankful the week came to a close yesterday morning as we made the trek back to prague. the week, though being trying at times, was also a lot of fun. jackie, jeni, arielle and i got to spend some quality time hanging out with each other and also with our czech/slovak teammates.

in other news... a former AIA teammate came to visit me this morning. sarah's here for 10 days from boston/nova scotia and i'm really blessed to have this time with her here! we'll get to hang out, see some of the czech republic and encourage one another. i love the verse in proverbs that says: "as iron sharpens iron, so one friend sharpens another" (17:17)... especially because it's a picture of the way the Lord has blessed our friendship. yay!

that's what you get for being flexible

2008-08-07T15:06:00.005+02:00

have you ever seen one of those documentaries on eastern european/russian gymnastics techniques? the ones where they force their bodies into bizarre stretches that look completely unnatural... and PAINFUL? well, lets just say i got to experience a little piece of just that in our training yesterday.

this week we've been training like crazy. we spent an hour with our "trainer", Petra, doing aerobics, stretching and other things that i've never before done when training for hockey. then we spent an hour and fifteen minutes on the ice, with the last 15 minutes spent doing, what i think at least, is purposed to make us all either pass out or throw up. after practice, we run for 10 minutes, then spend another 30 minutes with Petra working on our "briko" (stomach), "zada" (back) and doing "strecink" (streching). it's killer!

so yesterday before practice in our session with Petra, we were doing a bunch of stretches and holding them, and actually bouncing in the stretching position, in order to - i think - be able to stretch our muscles further. next thing i know, i look up and she's standing behind one of my teammates who has her legs spread in a "v" in front of her. Petra then proceeds to push on my teammates back and force her down as LOW TO THE GROUND as my teammate (who's name is also Petra, so I'll call her Petra #2 to keep things somewhat sensical!). once Petra released her, Petra #2 rolled over on her side and began basically wimpering in the fetal position, hands holding her groin area. if you need witnesses to this story, feel free to talk to jeni, jackie or arielle. all 3 can verify it's validity!!

Petra then goes to each girl on the team, pushing on our backs as we're sitting with our legs in the "v" position, bracing ourselves for the pain to come. when she got to me, i wasn't intending to stretch to the max, but being the pretty flexible person that i am, with petra's help i was able to touch my FOREHEAD to the ground. not even kidding. of course, she's so excited that i'm able to do this that she yells for everyone to look, holding me down there even longer so everyone can get a look. suddenly i hear this "pop" and something in my inner thigh/lower buttocks/upper leg feels terribly wrong. Petra moves on, everyone gives me a congratulatory call or salute for my flexibility and i put on a tough-girl-i'm-so-flexible face... all the while coming to the sad realization that something is SO not right - with that stretching technique and with my now aching buttock!

post-practice: my uber flexibility is gone. i now cannot touch my right foot with my right hand. looks like the european method of flexiblity is not such a good idea after all. next time you're watching one of those documentaries, i hope you think of me. ;) i'll keep you posted on my recovery!

2008-08-04T09:57:00.003+02:00

after our long journey to prague finally ended yesterday, we walked out into the prague airport to see mr. kott (team president), mr. nemec (team manager) and michal (our agent) with big smiles on their faces and a rose for each of us! talk about a warm welcome. i think arielle was pretty impressed. they were super organized with maps and public transportation tickets. one vehicle whisked our bags to the rink in kralupy while mr. kott and michal took us and all our luggage to our new and old flats... the only not so great news of the day was that it looks like we'll be splitting up into two flats instead of living all together in one (as we originally requested and were told would happen). the new flat has just been reconstructed and is as beautiful as the "old" flat, so that's nice. it's relatively close (a 10 minute tram ride) but not as close as we'd like it to be! apparently we'll get to reevaluate in about a month and if we're really unhappy living separately, management will see what can be done.

our flight was seemless in contrast to poor jeni, who missed her connection from paris to prague and then missed two other flights after that - none of which were her own fault or a product of her falling asleep in the airport! needless to say, when she arrived last night at 11pm after hanging out in paris for 12 hours, she was quite ready to go to bed or get on a plane back to canada. we're quite thankful she stayed!

this morning in my insomnia (aka jetlag) i sat out on the balcony and got to thank the lord for his goodness. it really feels so great to be back in prague... it feels a bit like home, to be honest!

lately i've been reading the writings of st. augustine... a guy who lived from 354-430AD and who was passionate about the lord. one of his entries i read a few days ago keeps drawing me to read it again and again:

oh! that i might repose on Thee! oh! that Thou wouldest enter into my heart, and inebriate it, that i may forget my ills, and embrance Thee, my sole good? what art Thou to me? in Thy pity, teach me to utter it. or what am i to Thee that Thou demandest my love, and, if i give it not, are wroth with me, and threatenest me with grievous woes? is it then a slight woe to love Thee not? oh! for Thy mercies' sake, tell me, o Lord my God, what Thou art unto me. say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. so speak, that i may hear. behold, Lord, my heart is before Thee; open Thou the ears thereof, and say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. after this voice let me haste, and take hold on Thee. hide not Thy face from me. let me die - lest i die - only let me see Thy face.

i was curious to read some of his writing when i listened to a podcast that included some of his quotes. it was this line that got me intriged "i have had such delicious thoughts about the Lord" that made me giggle and want to know what this guy was all about. he's one of the passionate guys of old that just couldn't get enough of jesus. what a cool guy.

2008-08-02T01:09:00.003+02:00

the big day has finally arrived! tomorrow morning i head to the czech republic along with 3 fellow canadians: jackie, jeni and arielle. i'll be gone for the next 10 months, with a possible trip home at christmas. it seems like a long time when i look forward now, but i know that time somehow always seems to pass quicker than i think it will.

my summer at home has been a huge blessing! i am overwhelmed by the body of christ and the support i've received from family and friends. my thoughts about this keep coming back to ephesians 4:15-16 which says:

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

i love the picture of the body of christ being one. we are all called to be different and to walk the path god has called us to - using our gifts, passions and opportunities accordingly - but we all fit together as one through christ. as we grow in christ we work together to share his love with the world and to build each other up. i've felt so encouraged through the ways i've been able to share about the ministry in the czech republic with people at home... and also learn about what god is doing in your lives as well.

as i leave tomorrow, i can't help but be bursting with joy and thankfulness for all god has done in me this summer, for relationships with so many special people at home, for new friends and for reacquainting with old ones, too.

everyday the call is to follow jesus. to know him and love him more. one way we do that is through loving each other. thank you for loving on me this summer! i'm excited to see what god has in store in prague, but i'm also excited to hear about the works he is doing and will be doing in the year ahead here at home through all of you.

much love and blessings... we'd appreciate your prayers for travel safety for the four of us tomorrow! we fly out at 10am.

talk to you soon from the other side of the ocean.

ps - praises to the big guy for finished visas! jackie and i received our visas in the mail along with our passports - in time, if you can believe it! :)

visa update

2008-07-11T06:51:00.002+02:00

travel plans have changed in the past week... especially after a conversation with the czech consulate in toronto. after losing one passport in the mail, jackie and i have both had to re-apply for not only a passport but re-submit our applications to the czech foreign police as well.

because of that we won't be able to leave on our scheduled dates and now will be flying out on august 1st. no "jagr team" camp for us, which is pretty disappointing! it would have been awesome to work at a hockey camp run by czech's very own hockey celebrity, jaromir. maybe next year!

you could keep our applications in your prayers as we trust in the lord for his timing on this... whether it's what we'd planned or not. god's got this and we know things will go according to his good and perfect plan. please pray for the details to come together so we can make it to prague in time for training camp as well as patience for us during the next 3 weeks.

the good thing is - we do get to spend more time with our families and friends before we leave. definitely a blessing! god is good :)

more pics... this is fun ;)

2008-06-24T11:40:00.002+02:00

i can never stay out of water... if i'd had my suit, i promise you i'd have swam in the chilly water!

my birthday, post-lunch with grandad

also post-birthday lunch, this time with dad

an afternoon trip out to qu'appelle valley - posing with mom

2008-06-24T11:35:00.001+02:00

family bowling night! aivi's first time with 5-pin bowling. l->r aivi, me, jord

josh peters came to visit for about 24 hours - we took in the rcmp museum and parade!

during aivi's visit we took a day trip to watrous to see jackie's cousins

how could i forget?!

2008-06-24T11:13:00.001+02:00

it's so easy to petition god, through prayer, to work and move in our lives. often times i forget to praise him for the things he does and the prayers that go answered! soooo praise god for great news!! jackie and i have been approved for work visas in the czech republic :) thank you for lifting us up... god clearly answered!

Airport Campout

2008-06-24T11:08:00.001+02:00

What do you do when your diary is so outdated you feel like you don’t even know the person who wrote the last entry... and it was you!? You start writing again... and hope your diary will forgive you for losing touch. You might have guessed it... you’re the diary and I’m the writer. I hope I haven’t completely lost the faith of those of you kind enough to check out my blog and keep up to speed (as much as I allow you to!) on the goings-on in my life.

I’m currently writing you from the Boston airport in good old US of A. I was supposed to leave 4 hours ago, but thunderstorms seem to have encompassed the Boston and Toronto areas... my places of departure and destination. So what better time to do some writing than dead time at the airport? I’m headed onto Regina after Toronto (weather permitting). Anyways, the part you’re here for... an update on life. Here’s a quick (hopefully) Coles Notes version of my most recent adventures (and the normal things I do in life!):

-I’m working for the Regina Qu’Appelle Health Region in the Palliative Care office. One of the things I got to do was help organize a weekend camp for bereaving children at Dallas Valley. It was an amazing experience. I might have to re-think my job aspirations... helping those kids and connecting with them was extremely rewarding. It was sweet to spend the weekend working with my mom, too, as she’s a social worker in Palliative Care and volunteered to come. I got to witness just how clearly God has called her into this profession for a reason!

-April and May saw a special visitor come to Canada. A teammate of mine from my team in Prague spent 3 weeks at our house; she trained Canadian-style, got to experience Canadian culture and I think had a really great time. We had some great conversations and I was able to get a Czech bible into my hands to pass onto her. I also got to tell her about Jesus, which was really cool. She’s got lots of questions and I think she was challenged to think about things she’d never thought about before. A very cool experience for all!

-The beginning of June I set off for Prague, CZ, for our team’s training camp. I went with Jackie and a new teammate we’ve recruited from Canada, Jeni. Our flight got into Prague at 2:30PM on a Friday – that evening we packed onto the bus to drive to Croatia for 12 hours. Saturday was a pretty rough day. We started working out a few hours after we got off the bus and hardly stopped to breathe all week. It was an interesting mix of pain and pleasure as we ranged from running sprints, doing aerobics, lying on the beach, doing weight lifting circuits and taking ferries to quaint little cities to enjoy dinner on a rooftop restaurant!

-I had my flight home from Prague routed home through Boston so I could visit a friend I met on tour with Athletes in Action this past August. Sarah just finished her fourth year at Northeastern so I got to experience the campus culture here and have a fun week enjoying her company, meeting her friends and getting to be a part of the awesome fellowship she experiences here! She and I marvelled at the fact that before this week together we’d only known each other for 10 days on tour. God is good and it’s been awesome to stay in touch since tour, pray for one another and build one another up as we walk with the Lord and strive to love Jesus in our daily lives. God is SO good! His timing has been all over our friendship from day one.

So now I head home to work for another month, spend as much time as possible with my family, continue support raising (please talk to me if you’re interested in joining my team!), and enjoy Canadian life for a bit longer. I have one more excursion on a jet plane before I leave for a while. In July I’m speaking at an Alliance women’s conference in Ottawa. I’m really excited to get to share with the ladies present, about my walk, pursuing Christ and what God has done in my life as a woman of God and an athlete.

The day approaches (July 20th – don’t remind my mom if you see her!) when I will pack up for another year and head to Prague. Only He knows what good things are in store. I pray today you are experiencing Jesus – his peace and love that can overcome all things!

“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”

Čelza (my Czech spelling)

home sweet home

2008-04-21T07:35:00.002+02:00

i'm home! yay! i'm not sure if there are any faithful readers left out there, but if there are, thanks for staying with me! i haven't done the most stellar job of keeping up with my blog. my mom gently informed me that "...jackie keeps her blog very updated, you know..." yes mom, i want to be better at keeping this up. but i'm still here and i'm still writing, so that's a good sign.

so now that i'm home, what's the plan? i'm home until july 20th when i leave for prague and another year once again. in the meantime, i'll be working, training, doing a bit of travelling and spending as much time as possible with my friends and family here at home. i'll also be having a few visitors over the next month. at the end of april a friend that i studied with for 2 months in quebec a few years ago is coming to visit. i think we're both looking forward to getting caught up after about 3 years! and this friday one of my czech teammates will be flying into regina to spend 3 weeks with my family, soaking up canada and training with jackie and i. we're going to work her pretty hard. but i'm really looking forward to her coming. it will be great to have her experience life like we know it - and hockey like we know it! the only thing that's going to be a challenge is that she doesn't speak much english. looks like i'll be getting a lot of czech practice in real soon!

after my visitors leave, i'll be heading to columbus to spend about two weeks with jody. it's going to be pretty cool to have that time together and even better if jordan joins us for a week like he's planning.

in june jackie and i, along with the latest canadian recruit to join hc slava for next season - jeni creary, will be flying to prague and travelling to croatia with our team for training camp. it seems the president and coach really want us there - they're taking care of everything for us. a little canadian work ethic at camp is apparently worth it! we agree. :)

july will follow soon after two weeks in the czech and my departure date to come soon after that. july 20th we take off for another adventurous year!

next year will also look a little different for me as i'll be joining staff with athletes in action as a STINTer (short term international missionary). i'm really excited because i know i'm going to learn a ton. this past year i was working, along with jackie and sara, at the nursery school just outside of prague. so in the upcoming year, i'll instead be working for AIA. we'll be spending time at the sport university, planning events with my team and i will have the awesome opportunity to learn about missions close up and how to love on my teammates even better. great news!

there are a few things you could be praying for right now: jackie and i are in the process of getting our visas sent away and we need prayer for the speedy processing of our visa applications in order to reenter the country not only in june, but in july as well. the czech just joined the shengen agreement, so we're only allowed to be in any shengen country for 90/180 days. complicates things a little.

thanks for reading and for your prayers!

blessings :)

here we go...

2008-04-20T18:33:00.000+02:00

here's the video from the bus trip... about time, i know!

waaaaiting

2008-03-26T17:01:00.003+01:00

i'm struggling to get the video figured out... so will do that asap so ya'll will know what i'm talking about in my blog!

in other news, sara would like me to give a little shout out to let everyone know that she's just recently posted after a few month hiatus from writing. so czech her out!

bus ride sing-a-long

2008-03-26T13:39:00.004+01:00

this beauty of a video was shot last sunday on our way home from brno, cz. it was our second last game of the year and with the 6-0 victory (kudos to sara on yet another shut out) we clinched the czech league title.

it also happened to be easter sunday and our trainer, milo, pulled out some classic english music, including quite a few popular and christian songs that we just happened to know. fancy that! we quite enjoyed singing along - we, being the operative term and only including sara, jackie and i. the rest of our team didn't so much like the tunes coming out over the loudspeaker. so, what happened was, the girls began to try and drown out the music and sing their own song louder than the one being played. needless to say, it was quite funny.

check out the dude without any hair singing along with the girls. he's pretty much our super fan. he lives and breathes slavia women's hockey. i so wish i had footage of him cheering in the stands because it's so funny that i can't watch or else i start busting a gut on the bench.

this weekend is our last game of the season, against brno as well, but out in kralupy at our home ice. afterwards we have a team wind-up/party which will start with bowling and i'm sure progress in hilarity as we go.

it's been so amazing to live in this country and play with this team this year. i consider myself extremely blessed... it's been hard at times, but so rewarding as well. god has been present through the tough stuff with hockey and life here, and it's been amazing to see him work through it all - in myself and in others - and to see how he works all things for good!

can't wait for next year!!

jsem studentka

2008-02-29T14:49:00.002+01:00

for the past three weeks i've been getting on the tram every morning at 8:17 to head to school. i'm halfway through a 6 week intensive czech course and having a blast. it's a really great set up for learning czech and also meeting some new and fun friends. i just happen to be the only north american in my class. there are people representing all the following countries: uzbekistan, ukraine, egypt, argentina, russia, siberia (i know it's part of russia but worth noting!), israel, moldavia, bulgaria and australia.

there are only a few who don't speak english, so i've been able to converse with a lot of them about more things than our basic czech will allow us. even though we're all from different countries, it's amazing how a sense of humour knows no bounds. many days i'm giggling in my seat or trying not to roll on the ground laughing.

today, during our first break, two of the students decided to demonstrate their tango skills in front of the class. our professor had left the room and people were just lazing around. all of a sudden the music gets turned on and edgar and masha are tango'ing' in a circle at the front of the class. i turned to ulrich, who sits beside me, (he's from australia) and we bust out laughing. he was making hilarious comments as they danced which only increased the hilarity of the moment and everyone else was laughing and trying to stay under control. our prof walked in a few minutes into the dance and, once she got over her shock, laughed along with the rest of us. i'm not sure if it was more funny or disturbing, that 37 year old edgar and 19 year old masha were dancing such an "intimate" dance. i'm pretty sure it was a mix of both.

me, being the smart person i am, just happened to pull out my phone and take some video footage of the whole event! it's currently on my phone, but will bluetooth it to jackie or sara's computer and get them to send it to me so that i can attach it for ya'lls viewing pleasure!!

i know you're worried, so i'll reassure that we do study a lot too :)

clarification

2008-02-20T17:05:00.003+01:00

after a convo with my mom, i was reminded that the term, "tongues out" really has no meaning to most people. sorry about that! tongues out refers to the style of your hockey gear (your shin pads in relation to your skates, to be specific). in the picture, the tongues of my skates are sticking out in front of my shin pads, whereas they are usually tucked in behind. going tongues out when you don't normally do it is just something hockey players do for fun, or to be silly, or whatever. so the connotation for the blog was mostly just to indicate that it was a lighthearted, fun set of games. hope that makes a little more sense!

tongues out

2008-02-16T23:46:00.009+01:00

jacks and i hit the ice tonite against the czech national team. the cz girls are having a weekend training camp for the upcoming world championships in march, held in latvia. lucky us, we got to play today and will also tomorrow against the cz team (made up mostly of our teammates from hc slavia).

there were a few highlights on the night, but i think i summed it up best when i gave sara the 411 on the phone: we lost 2-0, jacks played defence, and i went "tongues out". FUN.

czech out the pic below!

i'm also posting a picture of martina and i that we took after practice during my visit to slovakia. the next pic includes a few of her christian teammtes.

the heywoods come to town...

2008-02-15T16:50:00.002+01:00

yesterday morning i tearfully said goodbye as mom, dad, uncle ken and auntie heather headed off to the airport. they arrived on monday, feb 4 and spent the past week and a half spoiling me rotten! it was wonderful.

some of the highlights of the trip included an overnight stay at the Grand Hotel Pupp. if anyone here has seen the movie, "the last holiday" (not to be confused with "the holiday"), then you know what i'm talking about. lets just say i didn't leave quite the mark queen latifah did on the hotel and staff, but it was a blast nonetheless. we went to the spa and saunas, had a fabulous meal at a local german restaruant and walked around the breathtaking city. apparently, the nickname for karlovy vary (where the pupp is located) is called 'little russia' since almost half the people that live there are russian. the pupp is almost 300 years old and in 1701 was the biggest hotel in europe. not bad, eh? considering canada wasn't even a country yet!

we also toured around prague, seeing the old clock tower, the castle and cathedral, getting the best view of prague from the top of petrin hill and hitting up a ton of great restaurants. thankfully we did so much walking or we'd all be on the lettuce diet right now! the crew also got a taste of regular life for me, coming out to practice and seeing two games on the weekend. the games were both blowouts, but the second game was a bit of a gong show, so at least that was entertaining! apparently there's some bad blood now between our team and plzen, the team we played on sunday. next game with them should be interesting.

dad and uncle ken also got to show off their hockey prowess by joining us on the ice for two practices. it was great to have them out there - kind of weird for me though as my two worlds came together. i'm glad my team and coaching staff got to meet some of my family and vice-versa.

we also spent some quality time playing cards, which i never seemed to be able to win. another interesting passtime was watching dad and uncle ken learn to drive in prague - definitely an acquired skill!

already, i miss them, but i'll be home before i know it and there's still so much for me here! but such a blessing to have them here in my new home across the world. :)

mam rada slovensko!... i love slovakia :)

2008-02-11T23:46:00.000+01:00

i spent a weekend in slovakia - on a rare weekend off - with a friend of mine, martina stasova, who i got to know on two previous athletes in action trips. martina and i bonded over hockey and the rest is history.

i had an interesting journey to kysak, slovakia, over a 10 hour time period on the train. i've taken the train before - on a cross canada trek to northern quebec in the summer of 2005 to study french - i don't think that trip quite prepared me for this one!

after about 2 hours of journeying alone, i was joined by an older man and a younger guy. the older guy was pumped for life and definitely wanted to talk. unfortunately, when i told him in czech that i didn't really understand much czech, his vigor for conversation did not die down. he prattled on and i tried to pick up what i could. eventually, i just apologized and said i just couldn't understand, and picked up a book. the younger guy looked like a bit of a vagabond. or maybe he just smelled like what i'd imagine one might smell like. either way, an interesting combo. thankfully, by 3am mr. talkative had peaced out and the vagabond soon after. around 5am, people started to board the train, presumably for work. by about 7, my compartment was packed with 8 people squished onto our small bench. when my stop finally arrived at kysak where martina was to pick me up, i was half asleep trying to gather all my bags, including my hockey stick, to rush off the train before it took off again. i only wish i could have watched myself - it would have been extremely funny! obviously, i didn't think it was at the time.

the weekend was a ton of fun with highlights being: attending martina's practice on friday night (with gear - minus my skates - almost entirely donated by teammates not in attendance (i don't think they knew about it!)), going for pizza with some of martina's teammates along with her christian friends (i shared some of my testimony and got to ask her friends a bunch of questions about life in slovakia and the spiritual culture there - totally interesting to hear their points of view), celebrating with martina's family as her uncle celebrated his 50th birthday (i kid you not, the party started at 1pm and went until 4am - luckily i peaced out at 12), ate quite a few delicious slovak meals and was downright spoiled my martina, her sister, mom and dad.

it was a precious weekend. it's amazing to see how the lord brought martina and i together in friendship and continued that as i've come back to prague repeatedly. martina has been an encouragement to me and a prayer warrior. we're trying to plan an AIA hockey camp in slovakia for august. there's a definite need for it and i don't think something like it has ever really been held there for women.

i had the strangest ride home from slovakia. again, a night train, but this time with a bed. and 3 men - who stripped down to their undershirts and boxers and snored the night away. probably one of the strangest experiences of my life and one i'll never forget (and don't really want to repeat either). i took a moment to gaze down from the topmost bunk and marvel at how this would never have happened in canada.

g'nite!

just another day...

2008-01-16T23:27:00.001+01:00

this morning came early as prayer meeting started at 7am. most wednesdays we meet as a group with athletes in action and pray together. it's seriously such a blessing to starting the day and for connecting with one another. everyone is very busy with different schedules and many things on the go. meeting early was pretty much our only option. today we went around and shared a bit about what our lives look like including what the future holds, so we could pray for and encourage one another. who better to submit your will to than the creator of your own life plan? sounds like a good idea to me.

when it came my turn to share, i was excited to say that i'm coming back to prague for another year. i'm not sure exactly what it will look like - whether it's through aia or just as a christian athlete on my team - but i'm thankful for the peace the lord has given me about it and the knowledge that i am, indeed, supposed to be here.

i'm really excited about a few things. namely, learning this language a lot better so that i can communicate with my teammates. and in turn, getting to know these awesome girls better and being able to share my life with them and vice versa. i love these people and the more i pray about it - the more i realize that my heart, right now, beats for the czechs! i don't know how long god has called me here, but for now, it's one more year and i'm content with the knowledge of that.

call me crazy!

new year, new look

2008-01-04T17:59:00.000+01:00

no, you're not at the wrong blogsite, but things have changed on my homepage. i decided with a new year it was time for a new look on my blog and a fresh start. so i hope you enjoy this new template and continue to read up on my adventures in the czech!

home is full

2008-01-04T17:29:00.001+01:00

i say those words because my time at home has not just been full of things to do, places to go and people to see. home has been full because my heart is full and i am ready to head back to the czech republic. to my friends and teammates that i've truly missed over the holidays, i am looking forward to connecting with them again so much.

i got to spend almost five days with jordan and just over a week with jody. both were way to short, but such a rich time that i'm trying to feel satisfied with that. it's amazing how as we get older we become friends and parting becomes so difficult. it's hard to remember the time when our days were filled with playing and fighting, but mostly fighting. it's amazing my parents made it through all of that without being severely scarred. or maybe they are and we just haven't realized it yet. we'll hope for the former!

another highlight of the holidays was having the Czech Under-18 team at my house for a meal, with Jackie, Sara and I sharing the billeting duties among the 21 players. it was so cool to see these familiar faces walk off the bus and into our city. i am so thankul that the Lord has led me to the CZ and that i am a part of the lives of these people. i am thankful too, that my parents got to meet my coach, karel, as he was here on the coaching staff with the u-18 team. it felt great to speak czech again and makes me excited to get back to class and conversations with teammates.

it's been wonderful to see so many people while at home. i marvel at god's goodness and how his plans are so perfect. he is continually blowing my mind.

blessings to everyone in the new year! looking forward to staying in touch.

cheers!

chelsa :)

berlin

2007-12-04T18:04:00.000+01:00

i'm recovering on a quiet tuesday from a busy weekend in berlin, germany, where we battled to move on to the finals of the european cup for women's hockey.

we set out last thursday morning to spend 5 days with our czech teammates, coaches, a few members of the media and family of the girls. thursday found us checking into our hotel and heading to the rink for a skate. friday we had our first game against lugano, switzerland. we had a tough battle, but ended up losing the game 5-2. we had about 3 minutes in the third period where they scored 3 goals. they never looked back after that.

saturday morning, much to our chagrin, we had a practice. slavia had never done that before (game-day skate) so coach karel wasn't exactly stellar at planning drills we could all appreciate on game day. alas, it all turned out okay in the end as we played france that day and wiped them out 8-1. i scored the first two goals of the game.

sunday, we had a quiet day and prepped for our upcoming game at 5:30. we were to play osc berlin, the hosts of the tournament, also tied at 1-1. the winner of sunday's game moved on to stockholm, sweden, for the final round to determine the european women's champion. we ended the game in a 3-3 tie, went into overtime in a fruitless effort on both team's parts to score a goal, then headed into a shoot out for the rights to move on. we shot first and after 3 shooters each team, it was still 3-3. we had to start in the second round of 3. our shooter missed; theirs scored. it was heartbreaking, to say the least. what a crappy way to lose. though i hear it's a great way to win. can't say i'd really know.

i learned a lot of czech over the weekend, having spent a lot of time with czech teamates and coaches. learned some new things, like that for a snack czech playerw would bring a bag of shaved salami to munch on. i thought that was pretty funny, but maybe she thought the same thing about my plain rice cakes with peanut butter!

even though we didn't move on, i feel like we gained a lot from the weekend. we saw that we can play with the next level of hockey, beyond what we see in the czech league, or even in the ewhl. i think there's hope for this club, but there are still so many things i'd like to be able to share with them about the game of hockey. if only i was fluent in czech!

team slovenia

2007-11-25T10:27:00.001+01:00

i had an interesting experience yesterday. i wasn't in the lineup for slavia and so spent my pre-game time at the hotel down the street doing some emailing and chatting with home. when i arrived at the rink, i found the game delayed by an hour because slovenia had been waiting in prague for us at the home of the men's slavia club. our home ice is in kralupy, 50kms outside prague. anyways, it came to be known that triglav (the slovenian team) only had brought 7 players with them... on the 700km journey from triglav to prague. coach karel, a big grin on his face, asked me if i wanted to suit up for slovenia. i hesitated, paused a moment to think about it, shrugged my shoulders and said, SURE.

the game was a blow out, slavia beat us 13-1. but it was one of the most fun games i've played this year. women's hockey is small in slovenian (men's hockey is really big) and the women that play on the team play just because it's fun. for them, it's a hobby. and it was great for me to sit in their dressing room with them, soak up the lighthearted atmosphere and help to remind me why i love this game so much. with only 7 skaters, i got a TON of ice time. and playing slavia, an extremely fast team with 3 solid lines, i had a cardiovascular workout like i haven't had since i got here. lungs were definitely burning well into the night last night.

one cool thing that happened was in between the second and third i asked barbara, the slovenian who spoke perfect english and was a great gal, about their d-zone coverage. she said they didn't have one, so i started to suggest a basic coverage we could try. as i drew on the paper, every girl from the team got up and knelt and stood around me so that they could see what i was doing. barbara translated a little, though the girls could understand english, if not speak it. it was so fun to teach this basic hockey principal to this group of very open and teachable girls. we had more success trying to do that - things were calmer and somewhat under control in our zone after that. another fun part was telling the girls to play a box on d-zone coverage for penalty kill. they picked it up so fast and we were good at it! we held off 3 hc slavia powerplay lines until with 6 second left they finally put one in.

after the game, the girls thanked me and gave me a great little fleece triglav tuque to take home with me. they clapped and said they'd like to take me home with them... "we've got lots of great looking guys in slovenia!", barbara told me. when we're in slovenia two weeks from now on our italian/slovenian tour, barbara and i are going to go for coffee. yesterday was an unexpected blessing!

a sporting week

2007-11-24T11:17:00.000+01:00

last saturday we had a rare day off. usually our weekends are filled with games and game prep, so we took the opportunity to take in some of the other athletics available in prague.

saturday afternoon we watched the Sparta Women's Basketball team play against Gambrinus Brno in what started out as a close game, but eventually turned into a 100-51 blow out. our friend from aia, erin, is the assistant coach on the team and we've gotten to know one of her players, nicole who is from the states, a little bit. if Sparta had had two of nicole, they might have won the game. she was great to watch. Brno boasted having a WNBA player from the states as well as 9 czech national team players.

after dinner at a pizza place in our neighbourhood, we headed to the Sparta fotbal field to take in a game: czech national team vs. slovak national team. i can now call myself a fotbal fan! seriously, the energy in that place was so exciting and the athleticism of those guys... whew, it was awesome! after each czech goal (they won 3-1, by the way) the whole stadium would get on their feet and yell this catchy chant that we obviously did not understand. we're learning czech, but when 17,000 people are yelling it, it's kind of hard to understand. but we joined in with the jumping, giggling and grinning and not quite knowing what was happening. we asked some of our teammates the next day and what the czechs were yelling was, "anyone who's not jumping isn't czech". good thing we joined in... those are some passionate fans. included at the game were a couple hundred police officers, officers on horses and tanks. thankfully none of the previously mentioned were needed, and after the 10 minute firework production everyone went home tired and happy (or to the bar to drink the night away - we took the former option).

the next sporting event was tuesday night when jackie and i hit up a Sparta Men's hockey game against Karlovy Vary. Sparta boasts the former nhl player, Petr Nedved. it was an exciting game with two goals in the third period, one to each team, to leave the game tied and force overtime. nothing come from the 4 on 4 ot, so a shoot out followed. karlovy vary ended up taking the game. it was an exciting night and again, czech fans love their teams! there was a section of the arena packed with fans wearing sparta gear and colours, pounding drums, swinging scarves, shouting and hollering the whole game. they put the cheerleaders to shame with their chants (yes, there were cheerleaders).

the sports scene in czech is full of passion and loyalty. something we could maybe learn from, eh rider fans?! speaking of which, we've figured out that the grey cup will be aired on a tsn station we can pick up over here. we're heading to a pub sunday night to watch the game at 11:30. even in czech, i guess us prairie girls still bleed green and white! :)

russia no more

2007-10-25T11:21:00.000+02:00

after the game on sunday our agent, michal, informed us that we are no longer going to russia for the next round of the european cup. instead, berlin, germany, will be the host site of our grouping for the semi-final round. while still being very excited about spending a week in berlin, i'm still somewhat disappointed that we will not be heading to moscow. it would have been a historical experience.

we've had a quieter two weeks with only practices during both. this weekend we have just one game on saturday, with sunday off. we're very much looking forward to being able to go to a church service, for once! next week we're back to practicing 3 times with a somewhat smaller team since it's the week of centralization for the national team and the girls will be gathering for that elsewhere.

sara, heather and i are thinking of making a trip to salzburg to take the "sound of music" tour on the friday of next week. little bit of history, little bit of fiction and a beautiful setting with some fun people sounds like a great mix to me.

i kissed a girl...

2007-10-22T13:37:00.000+02:00

there seems to be this culture in the czech republic where as a sign of greeting, either to say hello or bid farewell, women give each other a kiss. on the mouth. the first time i saw this in kralupy, playing with the aia hockey team, i wondered if i was entering a team where many of the girls had girlfriend relationships, which is fine, but good to know. but after chatting with my slovak friend, i learned that this is normal here.

my defense partner, Paja, is 16 years old and a completely fun and crazy girl. we've become good buddies at hockey and i know i have earned her respect. the biggest indication to me was after the game yesterday when she was shouting "cau" and "ahoj" to everyone, and she came over and gave me a farewell kiss on the mouth. i was shocked, but i think i played it pretty cool. it was quite the experience! i guess moving overseas really is about moving out of your comfort zone - and learning new traditions!

a day in the life of...

2007-10-21T12:01:00.000+02:00

i'm starting to settle into the rhythm of life here in the czech republic. i know it sounds crazy, since i've been here for almost three months. in 3 days, it will be that time span exactly. and less than two months until i return home for christmas break.

a typical day in my life here can look a few different ways:

workday - on these days, i get up at 6:45AM and get ready to catch the metro/bus to get to work. i need to hit the metro by 7:20, since I have to catch a bus out to Uhonice, the town my school is in, by 8:10. by 8:30, I'm at work, though i don't need to be there until 9. that bus is the only one out to uhonice until 10, so it's a necessary evil. all in all, my travel out there takes about an hour and a half. when we've drive, it takes 20-25mins! killer, that's for sure. then my workday spans from 9am-3pm, when i catch the bus back to the metro at a stop called zlichin. around 4:15, i'm back at home. usually lying on my bed in exhaustion after a day with the uber energetic kids of whom i don't understand.

day off - these are days with no work, so jackie and i attend czech language classes, tuesday/thursday for an hour and a half each day. the classes are growing increasingly fun as everyone begins to relax, get to know each other, and laugh at our horrible pronunciation of czech phonetics. afterwards, we often head to an internet cafe to write home, check email and try and get somewhat caught up on what is going on in the western world. on thursdays now, i've started going to the sport university to the english conversation class that aia puts on. it was a great time this past week and much interesting conversation was had with students from the university.

game day - we often play afternoons, so it's wake up and eat breakfast, often watch an episode or two of "lost" over bfast and then get ready to go to the game. we have to be at the rink two hours before the game, and need to leave to get there 45 minutes before that. so about 3 hours before game time, we hop in the car and drive out to kralupy. after games, we often go for dinner, to see a movie with friends, or just make some food and hit the hay. after especially long games, we're often ready to just crash.

evening activities usually include hanging out with aia friends, going to our bible study on thursday evenings, family night with aia, going to movies with teammates or just having a quiet evening at home. we've pulled out the dice and had a few games of that. we've also had friends over for dinner and both sara and jackie have made some killer dishes. i have yet to show my talents in the kitchen... if they haven't disappeared on me, that is.

we had a great game yesterday with Agordo out of Italy. they came out absolutely flying and caught us a little flat footed. it was the fastest game we've played here and it was fabulous. it felt great to play the game at that kind of speed again. after the second we were tied 2-2. jackie and i were commenting before the opening face-off of period 3 that we've got to put some pucks in the net, as we weren't sure we had enough in us for overtime. the game ended with a score of 8-2. i guess we know how to turn it on when we want to! we play again this afternoon against a czech league team. then tomorrow, the week cycle starts all over again!

russia, flu shots and toast = happy thanksgiving

2007-10-09T15:20:00.000+02:00

after 22 years of thanksgiving meals at home - family, friends, food and much festivity - i experience my first thanksgiving on my own. it was a sorry end to a good weekend. i had toast. the bright spot of the evening was jackie's homemade apple crisp. it was a little taste of home. and i can't say i've ever had that food pairing before. things are always interesting here!

this weekend saw us win our side of the quarterfinals for the european cup. as great as that sounds, don't fear you missed anything too exciting - we won the second game 10-0 and the third 19-0. i almost felt bad for the romanian team we beat by the latter score. then i thought of the teams romania had to beat to be champions of their country - and i felt sorry for how terrible those teams must be! yikes. i'm thankful the czech republic has progressed beyond that level, byfar.

in preparation for our little jaunt to russia in november, we had flu shots after practice yesterday. it went something like this: practice, stretching, shower, flu shot. all right there in the dressing room. kinda crazy. at home we'd probably go to the clinic, but apparently they bring the clinic to you over here. or maybe that's an example of how things roll at slavia - we've kind of got the connections (or is it money?). i'm not sure - probably both.

this morning, i went to the doctor. in our little sauna episode of last week i seemed to get a little bit of water in my inner ear. it persisted in calling my ear home and over the past 7 days has caused me a substantial amount of grief. a teammate accompanied me to the ear specialist today and i discovered that i just might not have the medical coverage i thought. when the doctor went to write my prescription (i don't have an infection, just a bad headcold and my ear is inflammed), she wrote down my teammate's medical and personal information so that it would be covered by the czech health care system. this is a bit of a worry and something we will be talking to our agent about very quickly. we want to ensure we are covered on any occasion here.

we have a night off tonite and i think we'll take in a film. thankfully the flicks here are in english, with czech subtitles, so we can enjoy it without it becoming too cerebrally taxing. alas, i say farewell for now. happy belated thanksgiving!