Thursday, June 3, 2010

i made up a word for this post...

i've been mulling on the concept of repentance and what that looks like in my life.

let me just say this first: our god is mindblowingly faithful.

i've been reading a lot of spurgeon lately as i've previously shared. reading through his works on his "experiences after conversion", this sentence struck me and i've been chewing on it pretty much non-stop:

"I have found, in my own spiritual life, that the more rules I lay down for myself, the more sins I committ."

i couldn't have said it better myself. i feel like spurgeon had the exact same thought as i'm having - some 150 years earlier. i read that sentence and actually got excited - not because the message is great in an upbeat, pumped for life kind of way, but because i can relate exponentially. i'm a rule maker and list follower - at times i have lists of my "to do" lists - and there's some great structure that's found in these tendencies i have to organization, but there's a lot of potential for legalism, defeat, condemnation and further sin. one stumble into sin often perpetuates a slide into another.

which leads to repentance. today i realized that i kind of have categories for the sins i struggle with - and when i give into sin it's almost like i put it into a category in my mind and repent of that particular sin, praying i will not stumble with that one again - that i will turn from it. but really, i think those categories are "man-made" structures i've erected in my mind; my repentance is not to be categorical, purposed to work in one area independently. rather, my repentance in a moment or time of sin struggle is to move me away from that moment, action, thought, etc so that the rest of the day i'm moving back towards christ with him as my pursuit... my heart is changing and inclining closer and deeper into him.

it's not about behaviour modification. or cleaning up categories of my life. or struggles on an individual basis.

it's about my heart. that deceitful place. that wellspring of life. such a paradoxical concept.

repentance that is purposed to clean up an area of my behaviour only perpetuates the cycle of sin in my life - because repentance is about heart - not action!

my doing flows out of my being. repentance is about my being, not my doing.

our god is mindblowingly faithful.

i'm still mulling it over... and open for thoughts

11 comments:

heywood.6@osu.edu said...

sis, you've been blogging ALOT and i've been MISSING OUT cause i've been MIA from the blogsphere for so long...i have a lot of catching up to do!

Stacey said...

Hi,
I really like your blog! I stumbled across it in a moment of "next blog"ing, and there you were. Great, thought-provoking posts! I will come back...

Stacey <><

Chris said...

Our God is minblowingly faithful! Nice quote. Thanks for sharing.

LordLuvU said...

Yes He is faithful! I find it true every morning when I get up. His mercy is new everyday! Even when I try not to sin, I do it anyway. And yet He still loves me. I'm a little confused though. Do you mean that we shouldn't try to live a life that is justified? Because we are supposed to be a light to a sinful world, and to do that, we need to live differently. Or are you saying that as believers in Christ, we need to stop following our own rules (which are much harder to follow), and follow what the Bible says (which is difficult, but not as difficult as following our own rules)? I hope I make sense.

God Bless

Here's a link to my blog: http://lordismerciful.blogspot.com

http://lordismerciful.blogspot.com

Sweet Inlow's said...

Yep, me too, caught up in "next blog" and happened upon yours. I loved the point about how true repentance is not an action, but heart change. Great insight.

DANICA said...

Hi there. Your words are inspiring...I look forward to reading your blog. Follow mine: http://30somethingworkaholic.blogspot.com/

Amy said...

I appreciate your PO very much the picture with the article. Continues to refuel!!

somebody said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

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joven said...

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chelsa said...

hey everyone. thanks for the comments! i am checking our your blogs as well. :)

LordluvU, regarding your comment. i think we most certainly should strive to live a life that is justified. it's what we're called to and can only do in christ. what i've really been learning and chewing on lately is that following christ is 100% a heart matter. there are no rules or stipulations that can be applied to myself everyday, nor across the board to every human, that will allow me to live that life that is more and more pleasing to god. it's in some senses easier to construct a list of our own rules, because then we don't have to be vulnerable and sensitive to the holy spirit's leading and in tune with what jesus is doing in our hearts.

so yes, we need to stop constructing our own rules and seek out what the bible says... jesus is the new covenant!

hope that makes sense. :)